Survivor: f f n e t style
by Gonrod
Summary: What happens when the authors of Maple fanfic are put into survivor, along with some of their characters? Find out...by clicking. Chpt 14 up! Double digit!
1. Chapter 1

**Survivor: (Maple Story) style!**

A/N: **READ THIS NOW BEFORE FLAMING ME FOR PUTTING YOU IN.** Thanks. Now, if any author doesn't want himself/herself in this fic, where the characters are kiiinda similar, and do pretty wacky stuff, please tell me so ASAP. For the rest, read, enjoy, (laugh your ass off in certain occasions), and review.

Chapter 1: Intro to Characters

It was a fine, cool, summer morning on Survivor island. The palm trees rocked gently to the sea breeze, and the waves softly lapped at the beach. For approximately… 5 more seconds.

_5 seconds later_

There was a almighty "BOOM", and several large Macaws, and pelicans, took flight at this sudden noise. A giant dust cloud slowly rose from the crash site, one that could be seen all the way from space, which is really large, if you think about it. Slowly, from the dust, a figure appeared, dressed in his ankle length black trench coat, and holding, oddly, a mike.

It was the Host.

"Ahem, testing, testing, 1, 2… Dammit, they didn't set up the sound system yet. Stupid delays…" The host, named Gonrod, flashed his trademark evil smile at the camera(which was already there), and said,

"Welcome to survivor, style! And I'm your host, Gonrod. Here are the rules."

"Firstly, the contestants will be split in 2 groups. Then the 2 groups will compete in immunity and reward challenges. Immunity challenges mean whoever wins does not need to vote in the next tribal council, and the losing team votes on who in their team leaves the island! Whoever is the last one, wins…wait for it…"

As if on cue, the rest of the producing team unimaniously shouted, "ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

"Precisely. Now, reward challenges are basically self explanatory, whoever wins gets the reward, which are not needed for survival, but are luxuries, such as food, clothing, portable shelters, etc. As for WHAT the challenged contain, that is entirely up to the planning team, which, is composed of one person. Me."

At this point, he waited for the applause. None came, as there were no people on the island, except the producing team, which had of course, disappeared.

Pretending not to be daunted by this, he (once again) flashed another grin, and said, "Bring in the contestants."

_A trapdoor opens in the ground, and one by one, the contestants are carried up. There is, of course, the sound of screaming, and arguing._

"Firstly, for **Fan Tribe**, we have, a person who escaped from Bungie and Micosoft, **Master Chief**!"

The chief walks out, clad in a suit of Mjolner MARK VI armor, and is promptly assaulted by a horde of zombies.

"We don't allow any unfair advantages here…like armor… So once yu're done, please sit on the log next to me, on my right."

Ignoring the frankly shocking curses that sprung from the chief, Gonrod continued his presentation.

"Next, we have…argh…how do I say it…**Crappishh**, who likes..Fish and Crap? What sort of stupid author would write this?"

A girl, wearing school uniform, and holding a basketball, rises up through the hole in the floor. She doesn't seem perturbed by the unfamiliar surroundings, and calmly walks over to the chief.

"Remind me WHY I'm here next to you again?"

"I dunno. Wanna work on The lone crusader?"

"Next, we have, **sobriquet nightmare**! Which, you gotta help, because he's about to embarrass himself on national television."

Sobi walks into the island while looking around the island in confusion. He wore a red t-shirt and blue shorts. He walks over to Gonrod in fear. "Gonrod? Where am I? What am I doing here? I WANT TO GO HOME!" He cried.

"Sorry kid, but the only way to get off of this island is to get voted off in the tribal councils. NOW GO SIT NEXT TO THE CHIEF!" Gonrod screamed. Sobi cries as he walks over to the log and sits next the chief. Chief pats his back to make him feel better.

"Hey! You can't just scream at him like that!" Crappishh yelled at Aizen.

"Shut up." Next we have-AAAARGH!" Gonrod screamed as the girl named crappishh assaulted him.

"GO TO COMMERCIAL! COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!!!!"

_2 minutes later…_

Gonrod picks up a comb from the ground, smoothes his hair, and continues. It may be noted here that the shows ratings have instantly jumped another 60 points.

"Next, we have…WTF? WHO THE HELL CALLS THEMSELVES **RANDOMNESS FROM BOREDOM**?"

"YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

Randomness walks out, and proceeds to *beep* slap Gonrod, while the rest egg her on.

Finally, after she leaves, Gonrod picks p his comb, smoothes back his hair, and continues.

"R-right… anyway the next participant is one who originates from the most twisted, warped, mind jumanity ever produced, **prz Nic**."

A female priest walks out, armed with a heavy (allegedly unbreakable) staff, and fury in her eyes. Uh- oh…

"COMMERCIAL! GO TO COMMERCIAL NOW!" Was all he managed to shout before…

Unfortunately, although the cameraman switched off the camera, he left the audio system on. Please relax, and try to think of pleasant, cute images while it plays on.

"OH MY GOD, MY SPLEEN!"

"TAKE THAT! AND THIS!"

"Whoa, I didn't know his arm could bend like that…"

*crack*

"Hey, I thought that staff was unbreakable…"

"Well now you know. Never trust NEXON."

"HAH! THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO INSULT MY CREATOR!"

As prz Nic stalks off, to join her creator, A very battered and bruised host rises out from the sands. "So, the final 2 participants are **Kane**, from prologue, and **Darned Noob.**

Two more people come out, and sit next to the rest, on the log.

"And that's it for the Fan tribe! Now for **Fiction tribe**, we have, a person who wrote a total of 88 fics and counting, **Absol Master!"** Absol walks onto the island, shielded her eyes. "Argh! My eyes! They burn!"

"Yes, that's what happens when you stay indoors writing for too long. Now go sit there."

Absol walks over to a log to Gonrod's left, and sits.

"Next, we have, the person who wrote a fic about the gunslinger, and the first to write a 'official' pirate fic after version 62 came out, **Ccw**!"

Ccw walks out and sits next to Absol.

"right, now…errr… oh look, we've ran out of time. So out final 4 contestants are, **Azura,** from RFB's fic…Azura, **Zethos Orenia Gale**, **EncantadorTirano**, and…wait what do you mean we don't have any more participants? Oh…budget eh? And time? Well then, *beep* that!

So anyway, we'll find another, 6th participant…soon…

*BEEP*

_In the next show…._

_The teams get their first task…and first immunity challenge…_

_Tune in next time on Survivor: Ff . n e t style to find out._

A/N: Well that's the first chapt, and any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely in fun. If anyone has objections to appearing in the show or having their name in it, feel free to tell me. Thanks.


	2. First tasks

**Survivor: Chapter 2**

A/N: Hi! Glad to see you liked the first chapter, and amazingly, no one wants to withdraw! So…read, review, enjoy.

"Hello and welcome back to Survivor! Now we've finally found a replacement for the 6th participant, and he is…**The Arbiter**, who has agreed to join us…until he gets eliminated."

Our evil and extremely sadistic host then turns to the Fan tribe.

"Now, you'll take this bunch of equipment, and go set up a campsite, and a fire, and whatever sh** you do for camps, blahblahblah." He then hands each of the members a coat with the word "Fan" printed on the back of it. "Oh, and don't forget to put these on too, and make a tribe flag." He then hands the tribe their equipment, which consists of 2 spears, a firestarter, a timberbox, rope, pots, a long knife, paint for the flag, and a sheet of canvas also for their flag.

The host then hands the other identical set of equipment to the Fiction tribe, and says, "Yeah, and do the same as them, whatever."

The 2 slightly puzzled tribes then move off in opposite directions, to set up their camps.

**Fan Tribe**

The tribe, which generally consisted of goody goodies and typical hero stereotypes, soon set to work cooperating happily, with Kane from prologue, oddly, taking charge.

"Alright, Nic, you're in charge of making the flag. I want it NICE. Randomness and Sobriquet Nightmare, gather the firewood and materials for the shelter. Crappishh, see if you can get us some water. Chief and Darned Noob, get us some fish. Chop chop." Said Kane, who then immediately walked over to help with the flag. Chief, Randomness, and Darned Noob shrugged, but rallied behind their fearless leader, which in this case meant doing the work assigned to them. Crappishh groaned, grabbed one of the pots, and walked off in the same direction as the woodcutting team.

"Crappishh, see if you can get us some water." Oh I'll get some water, you *beepbeepbeepbeep*. More grumblings and even a few curses are heard, as she goes off in search of water.

**Fiction Tribe**

The members of Fiction stare at the equipment neatly laid out on the ground. After a long silence…

"Well I believe I should be leader, since I am the one with the highest IQ here." Absol pointed out.

"Keep dreaming. The leader should be me, as I'm the strongest here." Azura tried to smile evilly, but the bikini he's wearing ruins the effect. (ew)

"fsssh fsssh maga ooga" replied the arbiter, which was probably a great retort, just that no one could understand it.

"How about a competition?" suggested Ccw, in his 'giving good advice to other people' tone.

"That's good. Fine, Encandator, you choose one, since you're unbiased." Replied Absol. While glaring at Azura.

In a bored tone, Encandator said :"How about chess?"

_3 minutes later…_

"Check"

.

"Check"

.

"Checkmate. I win." Said Absol, who(somehow) managed to smuggle a chess set in.

Azura grumbled and cursed, which was his way of graciously acknowledging defeat.

Meanwhile…

**Fan tribe**

" I think it should have the maple leaf on it" said Prz Nic, staring intensely at the fabric. In fact, it was so intense, that the fabric actually burst into flames.

"HOLY SHIT!" Kane cried.

"No, you only cry that when I go to the toilet", the priest replied, while calmly extinguishing the fire.

**Fiction Tribe**

"Wow, that looks great!" cried Ccw.

"Thanks!" Absol replied, while adding the finishing touches to the flag.

_1 hour later…_

"Come on guys, you're gonna be late! And if you're late, there is a…_penalty."_ Said the host. This encouraged both tribes to run even faster toward the beach, where he stood.

Both tribes entered proudly, carrying their flags. However, while Fiction tribe had a Yin-Yang symbol on their flag, Fan tribe had… a very charred piece of fabric hanging limply from the pole.

"Oh yeah, very original, Nic, burning the flag." Gonrod said sarcastically. "Okay, so anyway, this is the part of the show where I ask you guys how the island was. So, how was it?"

"Oh, its awesome. We've got fire and everything." Said Absol, while beaming at the host.

"Wow, great." Said Gonrod, looking reaaaly bored. He then turned to Fan tribe. "And you guys?"

"Oh, Crappishh made the flag, while Randomness and Sobi got the wood for the shelter and the fire, and Chief and Darned Noob managed to catch some fish. It was great!" Kane beamed at Gonrod, while the rest of the tribe behind his back swore about him, and Crappishh clenches her fist and shakes it violently, trying to control herself from wiping the smile off Kane's face.

"Whoopee for you. Now today's immunity challenge is simple. All you have to do is use the 2 spears you got, and hunt down the chickens in this enclosed, small cage. First tribe to get me 3 chickens will go back to camp safe in the knowledge that no one on their side gets voted off. The losers will go to tribal council, and some poor idiot is going to have the honour of being the first person voted off of Survivor. This ladies and gentlemen, is what makes my job so much fun." Gonrod then proceeds to laugh maniacally for several minutes before regaining control of himself. "Right, so now choose your hunters."

After some discussion, Kane and Chief are sent for Fan tribe while Azura and the arbiter are sent for Fiction tribe. Gonrod then smiles evilly, and opens the cage to reveal…


	3. Day 1

**Survivor: Chapter 3**

A/N: Alright, to clarify a few things. Crappishh is currently Arbiter, as in Arbiter of the association Master Chief and Arbiter. The arbiter here is the one from halo 2 and 3. Readers, feel Free to put in your reviews who you vote for. It MAY influence me, there again, it may not. This applies to all who read, not just those who have characters named after them. But then, those who have characters named after them who do vote influence more…

_Last time on survivor…_

Gonrod smiled evilly, and opened the cage to reveal…

_So now…_

To reveal 20 white, mindless, hungry and aggressive things.

"THOSE AREN'T CHICKENS, THEY'RE FREAKING WRAITHS!" Screamed Kane.

"Oh yes, and please hand over all personal weapons to me, save for the spears." Gonrod said, while cracking open a can of juice. "Let me repeat you are not allowed to damage or hit the wraiths in any way possible, with the exception of the spears, which actually cant do much. NOW GO!"

It should be noted that the volunteers are currently watching their lives flash before their eyes. Then, the thought of 1 million dollars finally clicked, and they, after handing over their personal weapons to Gonrod, went in.

Now, it should also be noted that the authors each have the level and the power of a level 1 beginner, but with 30,000 health points and 0 mana, and 4 in every stat. They also take about 1 damage per hit, but of course, can feel pain. Whereas Arbiter has a power level of 99999999, and Kane, Azura and Prz Nic all have power levels of 90.

And then, the fun began. (here, fun is only for those watching, and of course for the host.)

"HOLY SHIT!"

"OH THE HUMANITY!"

"I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND LIKE THAT!"

*snap*

"Chief, you're out. Breaking the wraith into half is NOT part of the game." Pointed out Gonrod, somewhat disappointed that Chief wouldn't be tortured.

Chief shrugged, dropped the 2 halves of the wraith, and walked out.

5 seconds later, the Arbiter sliced a wraith into half, with his wrist mounted energy sword, and was also disqualified.

That left Kane and Azura in the cage, trying to figure out how to get a wraith out of the cage without getting it or themselves killed.

Azura somehow managed to get on top of the wraith, and was trying to direct it to the opening, but it was, at the moment, running around randomly and ramming everything.

Meanwhile, Kane managed to drag 2 wraiths out of the cage, and plop them in front of Gonrod.

"2 for Fan tribe…" Gonrod stated, before bashing the 2 wraiths up and tossing them into the nearby trees.

Just then, Azura's wraith rammed Kane as he got back in, and sent Kane flying into the mass of Wraiths nearby. "GO TO COMMERCIAL!" he cried, but our sadistic host was having too much fun watching Kane get tortured. However, he felt compelled to say something, as the camera was on him, so…

"Don't worry Kane, we'll go to commercial AFTER Azura gets 3 wraiths out."

As if on cue, Azuras wraith rams into the huge crowd of wraiths, and somehow rammed 3 wraiths out.

"Damn…alright, 3 for Fiction Tribe. Fan tribe, see you at council."

It took several hours for Fan tribe to extract Kane, primarily because they wanted to watch him suffer, and that no one wanted to go in. (If you must know, in the end he was rescued by Chief, and healed by Prz Nic.)

_Next time on Survivor…_

_Someone gets voted out…who will it be?_


	4. Tribal Council 1

**Survivor: Chapter 4**

A/N: Haha I'm back! Thanks for reviewing, all of you. Remember, if anyone doesn't like what happens, you can tell me.

_Today…._

_Who will get their ass booted off Survivor?_

Everyone is extremely nervous about the upcoming council. Chief is cooking some dolphins and shark he managed to catch with Randomness, and the rest are trying to negotiate alliances, and backstabbing others. (Chief and Randomness bonded over fried dolphin, a traditional Microsoft delicacy)

Then, our cameraman, as usual, goes over to find some contestants and get their thoughts about the upcoming council. Later, he manages to capture several of them.

**[Crappishh [Fan Tribe]]**

"_Oh, Kane is going off for sure."_

**[Sobriquet Nightmare[Fan Tribe]]**

"_I wonder if I can vote myself off?" Sobriquet then wanders off in search of people who would vote him off._

**[Prz Nic [Fan Tribe]]**

"_Hmmm, its kinda hard to decide who to vote for. I mean, sure, Kane is annoying and stuff, but that guy there is creepy. I mean, he freaking cooked DOLPHIN! But chief did make us lose the round."_

Our cameraman then switches the camera back to passive mode, and catched Kane and DarnedNoob sitting side by side, at the beach. Kane is resting on a palm tree, while DarnedNoob is leaning on him, smiling passionately. Awwww, a author-character bonding time.

"Noob, vote for Chief tonight. He was the one who caused us to lose." Kane said.

"Of course I will. You're my greatest character." DarnedNoob replies.

"Thanks!" DarnedNoob then closes his eyes, while Kane smiles and leans back against the tree, safe in the thought that DarnedNoob won't vote him off.

"_Great! Now my creator won't vote me off!"_

And unaware to Kane, DarnedNoob smirks mentally and thinks, _"God, I didn't know my main character was THAT gullible."_

**Tribal Council**

Gonrod paces the length of the room impatiently, checking his watch for what must have been the 99th time. Fan tribe was late by 10 minutes. There again, maybe that was because he had the Tribal Council build 3677 ft above sea level. (yes, that's the height of Mount Fuji.) While alone, he grumbled to himself about how he had lost his coat. He was forced to give it to Fan tribe as a token of their immunity after the shows producers had lost the original token. Apparently it was part of the contract he had signed.

_Damnit, didn't they read my profile? It says, evil, sadistic, treacherous bastard wh enjoys torturing innocent people or typical hero stereotypes. Must have trademark brown hairstyle, and long white coat at all times to uphold the image of a __**treacherous bastard**__._

Just then, the huffing and panting, and cursing of Fan tribe alerted Gonrod to their imminent arrival. He sighed, as the Tribe took their seats.

"Alright, since you took so long to climb this paltry 3677feet of stairs, we're running short of time, so please hurry the *beep* up with it and light your torches." Gonrod snarled.

Each tribe member hurriedly grabbed a nearby torch and lit it.

"Alright, now the fire on your torches represent life. Once its out, so are you." Gonrod explained.

"Duh." Said Randomness and Chief, in perfect unision.

Gonrod then flashed an unnevering not-so-evil smile. "Alright, so before you vote, this is the part where I ask you who you're gonna vote for, and how was the island, and you all will give vague answers in the hopes of not revealing to your other tribe mates what a lying, backstabbing treacherous bastard you really are."

"Well, we haven't been here a long time, so its really had to figure whos the greatest idiot here." Said Kane, totally oblivious to the hostile stares he was receiving from the rest. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right there and then.

"Oh yes, like, it was sooo hard to figure who to vote for." As skilled an actor Crappishh is, the sarcasm in that sentence was really easy to pick up.

"Yea, really great." DarnedNoob says, while trying to avoid eye contact with Kane.

"Alright. So just go cast your votes. Kane, you're first." Gonrod says.

Kane walks up into the room where the camera is, scribbles on a piece of paper neatly, holds it up for the camera, and says, "Go home chief, we don't need you and your stupid hairstyle here." So saying, he drops the card into the box, and walks back to his seat.

Chief was next. He walked in, grabbed a piece of paper, wrote Kane's name on it, and said, "Go home Kane, we don't need you and your stupid sailormoon costume here."

Now it should be noted that Kane was wearing a sailormoon costume after he lost the challenge. Please make your own inferences from this statement.

Sobriquet was next, he went up, wrote his own name, dropped it into the box and said, "I wanna go home."

Crappishh walked in, looked the camera straight in the eye after dropping her vote, and said, "Kane, I don't care if you're the coolest and most likeable character in this whole show, I WANT YOU OUT!"

And so on it went, the rest of the tribe walking in, voting, making some rude comment, and walking back out.

After DarnedNoob votes, Gonrod grins, and says, "I'll count the votes now shall I?" This was his favorite part of the show.

_Chief…Kane…Sobriquet…Kane…Kane…Kane…Kane…_

Kane was dumbfounded. He knew he voted for Chief and Sobriquet must have voted for himself, which could only mean…

"Darned, my little cupcake, why?!"

DarnedNoob groans, shaking his head. "Kane please, just go."

"But my-!"

"Time to go, Kane." Says Gonrod, smirking, before Kane can finish his sentence. Kane whimpers weakly, and Gonrod kicks him over the railing, where he falls 677 feet until he hits a 3000 feet tall tree. Gonrod then turns to Fan tribe.

"Alright then, time to go home Fan tribe." MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Fan tribe turns and runs out for their lives. The echo of Gonrods evil laughter only served to make them run even faster…

A/N: Poor, poor Kane. Sobi, Zethos, You'll have some action next chapter. And sobi wont remain like this forever.


	5. Day 2 or 3

**Survivor: Chapter 5**

A/N: My sincere thanks to Ben, for advising me on what elaborate tortures you all will go through in this chapter's immunity challenge. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (No voting him out.) Oh, and the torch was put out after he was thrown down, its just we don't know that cuz the cameraman ran out with fan tribe.

To say that no one was worried that Kane was gone was an understatement. In fact, the overall mood of the tribe was downright jolly, with the various members all chatting happily among each other, save one.

"I…don't feel so good…" Randomness said, before tossing his cookies over the railings, where it falls 200 feet down into the tree.

"ARRRRGH! I'M COVERED IN VOMIT!" Kane screamed from the tree.

This odd proclamation caused the whole tribe to stop in mid chat and stare at the tree for 5 seconds. Then they all burst out laughing, and headed back to camp.

**Fan Camp**

As usual, after the council, our cameraman goes over to get some of the member's feelings about it.

**[DarnedNoob[Fan Tribe]]**

"_Whew… I'm glad hes gone. Now I don't have to put up with his orders anymore"_

**[Crappishh[Fan Tribe]]**

_*chewing on a fish(Tuna)* "I like fish."_

**[Randomness From Boredom[Fan Tribe]]**

"_I CAN'T EAT ANY SEAFOOD! HOW WILL I SURVIVE???"_

The cameraman learnt 2 things from this.

The tribe seems to be brain dead, even though its only the 1st day.

He should stop interviewing now before he loses his sanity.

So, for the sake of his sanity, he trains his camera on the middle of the camp, and goes off. Thus, viewers at home were able to see Randomness building up the fire, again, Sobriquet lost in deep thought, and Crappishh and Prz Nic having a author-character bonding time. Well that's one alliance that's not too surprising.

**Next Morning…**

**Fiction Camp**

Despite having Absol as leader, Azura still takes it upon himself to wake the rest of the camp up at the crack of dawn, and proceed to do stuff like firewood gathering, catching fish, and water fetching. Thus, there were quite a few muttered obscenities directed toward him. However, none of them wanted to be close to the bikini wearing male, so they did as they were told. During a brief respite, our (other) cameraman corners several people to get their thoughts about this….

**[EncandatorTirano [Fiction Tribe]]**

"_You have no idea how much I hate this guy. I mean, he's running this like it's a frickin boot camp! And isn't Absol supposed to be leader?"_

Our cameraman then finds Absol sitting near the fire, sharpening a spear.

**[Absol Master [Fiction Tribe]]**

"_I am so close to killing him. You would not believe how close."_

Finally after bothering several more tribe mates the camera returns to passive mode. And I must say, it picks up a rather interesting little scene. Zethos has cornered Ccw in a stand of palm trees.

"Alright, here's the deal you help me get rid of Kane and I make sure you make it into the last four." Zethos said to Ccw as he brushes a piece of hair out of his face.

"Wait a minute, why the hell do you want him off the island?" Ccw asked.

"Because he's a freaking nuisance_._ Yeah I understand we have to do this stuff, but damn he's annoying."

"Alright then." Ccw nods solemnly. "It's a deal."

**At the beach…**

Gonrod grins, in happy anticipation of the upcoming immunity challenge. And this time, it was a doozy. He then began to laugh to himself, in a very evil way. In fact, he was so obsessed with laughing evilly that he failed to notice the arrival of the two tribes, who stopped once they saw him, laughing to apparently no one.

"Crappishh, have you been giving him drugs again?" Chief asked.

"No, no drugs."

**On the other side…**

"Woah, that's the 2nd most freaky thing I've seen." Said Ccw. The first for him was probably seeing Azura in a bikini.

"Oh look, they got rid of Kane." Absol commented.

"I'd have thought they would have kept him as comic relief, like Sobriquet." Arbiter said. (Yes, he can speak human)

Finally, Gonrod notices them and stops laughing. "Right then. Folks, today for the immunity challenge we have a surprise in store for you!"

There is a mixed variety of reactions to this. Absol and Arbiter have to restrain Azura from attacking Gonrod. Zethos and Encandator both swear out loud, Ccw faints, hitting the ground with a dull 'thud'. Sobriquet whimpers. Crappishh and Prz Nic also fainted, but probably because they tried too hard to restrain themselves from attacking the host. The rest just groaned or pointed fingers, or spewed vulgarities.

"Now, the next challenge is quite special. If you would follow me."

And so, the 2 tribes follow Gonrod 600m down the beach, where they see…

A giant Maze, with platforms above.

"Now, for today's challenge, you will have to divide yourselves into pairs. One climbs up into the platform, the other is blindfolded. And the blindfolded one has to navigate through the maze with instructions from their partner, retrieve their group's flags at the center, and get out. Simple?"

"Whats the catch?" Asked Absol.

"Why would there be a catch?"

"Considering that you replaced chickens with bloodthirsty monsters, I'd say there is a catch." Absol calmly replied.

"Fine… we've put lions, tigers, snakes, monkeys, bats, crocodiles and maybe some balrogs inside the maze. AND… I get to choose the pairings."

10 minutes and 3 fist fights later…

"Ready?"

"NO!" everyone shouted in unision.

"Too bad, GO!"

And 6 people ran through the maze blindfolded.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Randomness screamed, while trying to evade a crocodile, while her partner, Crappishh, tried to find Randomness a way to the center.

"Right…NO, YOUR RIGHT!" Prz Nic screamed down at Sobriquet, who was running around in circles now.

"Left, right, jump, duck, right, straight…" said DarnedNoob, almost lazily, as Chief took orders so easily.

"Go forward 10.6432 meters, then turn right 87.65 degrees, and go forward another 9.8364354 meters…" Said Absol to Azura. Absol was still pissed about Azura challenging her leadership, so unknowingly to Azura, she was leading him to a large group of lions…

"Go right, human! RIGHT! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT RIGHT IS?" screamed the arbiter. Unfortunately, the arbiters native language had their direction of 'right' as the word left, and vice verca. Poor Ccw had walked into a nest of snakes due to that, and was screaming his head off.

"KICK HIS ASS!" Encandator screamed, almost going spastic with excitement, while Zethos below roundhouse kicked the balrog.

"Left, right, jump over the snakes, left, left, forward, and grab the flag." Said DarnedNoob.

As Sobriquet was being mauled by 2 lions and a alligator, something inside him snapped. He ripped off his shirt, earning many gasps from the femals above him, and proceeded to send a lion running off, and an alligator flying out of the maze. The show's ratings went up by 30 points then.

Then, when Chief grabbed the flag, Gonrod grinned, and pressed a button on the remote control he held. This caused 2 things to happen.

Firstly, all the lions, snakes, balrogs, whatsoever ran away. Well, those that didn't meet Sobriquet or Zethos ran off, as both were kicking ass.

Next, the maze changed configuration…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Chief screamed as he fell through a trapdoor. Fortunately for Fan tribe, he managed to throw the flag off before falling in.

"Pick up the flag, human, and run." Ccw did as he was told, and picked up… Fan tribe's flag.

"GET HIM SOBRIQUET! HE STOLE OUR FLAG!" screamed Prz Nic. This caused Zethos to go half deaf, and thus, he couldn't hear any more instructions, and walked into a moat…of sulphuric acid. More screaming occurred.

Sobriquet ran forward, and tackled what he thought was Ccw. Unfortunately, it turned out to be Azura.

"WOO! KILL HIM!" shouted Absol, going spastic in her excitement. Both combatants then rolled into a well placed spike pit. There was more screaming.

Ccw continued running, vaulted over a bed of hot coals… and ran into Randomness, who pushed Ccw on instinct…into the hot coals.

"IT BURNS!!!!"

Randomness then continued forward…ducked a pair of large oscillating blades, and got out.

"Oh well. Randomness wins immunity for Fan tribe. Heres my coat. Fiction Tribe, see you at council. God, I love my job."

And so, the tribes extracted their tribe mates from the pits, holes, bed of coals, and headed back, with Crappishh, for some strange reason, riding a lion.


	6. Author's Note

**Survivor chapter 5.5**

A/N: I've decided to stop this for awhile, because I really need to … set things right? So for all those featured in this fic and with their characters, please drop a review telling me what your personalities are like. Otherwise this won't be correct.


	7. Tribal Council 2

**Survivor: Chapter 6**

A/N: Long wait, no? Really sorry about that. Firstly, please remember that if any of you disagree to seeing your name in this fic doing such stuff, just tell me in a review and I will endeavor not to do it again. After all, that's what reviews are for, no?

**Fiction Tribe**

The members of Fiction tribe weren't really in the mood for any alliances, seeing that they'd just ran through a maze made by our evil and extremely sadistic host. However, the camera is still trained on the center of camp with the fire and several members sitting around it. Maybe its because the fire looked nice. Or maybe it was because the fire was something else to look at apart from different shades of black in a forest at night. There, we see EncantadorTirano, the Arbiter, and Azura roasting dolphins, a lion, and whatever else they could get their hands on, which included 3 pigs, 2 white tigers from the Singapore zoo, and 4 moths.(Ccw isn't there as he has pyrophobia. Yes, falling into hot coals does that to you.) It seems that moths are a delicacy in the Arbiter's home planet. We are then treated to a sight on Encantador slipping away into the forest, presumably to forge an alliance with someone. As soon as hes gone, the Arbiter and Azura decide to practice sword fighting with… swordfish. And then our brave cameraman decides to go find some people to interview.

**[Zethos Orenia Gale[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Well, Encandator is kind of useless. I mean, all he does is sit around and stare at the girls all day. And that kinda freaks me out too. And he does so much else too! Do you know, one day he…"_

_We now interrupt your show to bring you a message from the author._

"_For those of you wondering when the hell did Encandator do that, lets just say this fic isn't rated 'T' for a reason._

_We now bring you back to your regularly scheduled show, already in progress._

"… _and yeah, that's about it. Did you get that? No? I guess I'll have to repeat myself…"_

The cameraman listens to the endless tirade for about 20 more minutes, then finally gets away by faking a heart attack and then sneaking off.

**[Ccw[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_So… hot… burning…"_

**[Absol Master[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_*sings a song* Did you like that?"_

The cameraman is starting to regret having ever chosen to work with the host…

**Later on(about 1-2 minutes later)…**

And now, we see an interesting scene. Encantador has followed the sound of music to Absol's location, and has just opened negotiations. Our cameraman leans in for a closer look… Perhaps, after all, choosing to work here did have its perks.

"… vote for him and I'll make sure you get to the final 3" says Encantador.

"And how will you guarantee that?"

"Well I figure no one will want to vote for my new girl…"

There then follows about a full second of silence here, the cameraman, with his jaw hanging so loose a rodent could have used it for a swing, Encantador, who has just realized what he has said and is turning the colour of a white school uniform, and Absol, who in contrast, who… well lets just say that if looks could kill, we would all be dead.

"Oh, sh-*beep*." Encantador then attempts to make arun for it, and crashes into the cameraman.

What follows next cannot be seen, as the camera somehow ended up pointing at the ground. However, audio was still active. However, as there could be little children reading this, the more graphic violence has been edited out. Please sit back and relax, and think of nice cute images while the audio plays out

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

_*insert sound of something vital-sounding snapping*_

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"**

_*insert sound of something else vital-sounding snapping, while Beethoven no. 7 symphony is being whistled.*_

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"**

_*insert sound of organs being liquefied, and camera being crushed*_

_We are experiencing technical difficulties, please standby._

_-Cause: Error connecting to camera 185-DZ. We apologise for any delays this may cause.-  


* * *

_

**Tribal Council**

Gonrod was surprised, and a bit delighted, in fact, to see 5 Fiction tribe members enter and 2 medics from his staff carrying the liquefied piece of goop that used to be EncantadorTirano in, along with a added bonus, a very bruised Arbiter and Azura.(sword fight…) Perhaps Fiction Tribe has been spending a bit too much time around our evil host.

"Well this is a surprise. Normally I'm the one doing the maiming and mortal injuring around here. So this means you're settling in well?" Not that he cared enough to ask the last bit, but it was part of the damn contract.

"Oh just fine." Replied the 4 human members of the tribe, save 1. (Ccw was fine until he caught sight of the torch, where he then curled up into a fetal ball on the floor, spasming. And Encantador can't talk.)

Gonrod grinned, and asked the next question, "Do you think that the choices on who to vote for are getting harder?"

Absol: "No."

Arbiter: "No."

Zethos: "No."

Azura: "No."

Ccw: "It burns…"

Encantador: *whimper*

"Alright then, time to kick someone off this island. " He then pointed toward the infamous jar. "Absol, you first."

Absol walks over, writes out a name neatly(in very artistic handwriting), holds it up, and says, " At first, I wanted to vote for Azura. But then I realized that I should be sociable and try to make friends with him. So I'm voting for that pile of goop there."(which is Encantador if you didn't realize). And so saying, she drops the card into the box, and walks off with a biiiiiiiiiig smile on her face. Where did that come from?

Encantador walks/crawls/limps/insert a word for moving painfully and slowly here to the box and writes out a name, puts it in the box, and says, "For rejecting me you should burn in hell forever. But the tree stuck with Kane seems like a better hell." He then walks/crawls/limps/insert a word for moving painfully and slowly here back to his seat.

Arbiter AKA Arby is next. He rips a chunk of wood from the table, carves out a name on it, and tosses it into the box, with no comment.

Ccw walks up, puts his vote in, and pleads, "It hurts… can I go home?"

The rest of the tribe walks up, votes, makes some comment, and walks back to their seat.

Gonrod grins evilly and proceeds to count the votes. As mentioned before, this was his favorite part of the show.

" _Encantador… Absol Master… Ccw… Zethos Orenia Gale… DAMMIT CAN'T YOU PEOPLE VOTE FOR THE SAME PERSON MORE THAN ONCE? Encantador… Encantador."_

"Second person voted out of Survivor, EncantadorTirando. Give me your torch, please."

Encantador walks up, and has his torch doused by Gonrod, when suddenly, he pulls out a can of deodorant and a zippo lighter, screaming, "I'LL USE IT! I SWEAR I'LL REALLY USE IT!!!!"

Now this seems to stun our evil host for a total of… 3 seconds. Then in one fluid motion, he dislocates both of Encantador's arms, grabs him by the collar, and hurls him over the railings with a passing comment.

"Good job, got to give you credit for that. Bye!"

Encantador crash lands next to Kane, as the rest of Fiction Tribe sprint the hell out of council.

* * *

**In the tree...**

"For future reference, Gonrod's weakness is NOT fire." Encantador mumbled.

"Hmmm.... what IS his weakness then?" Kane then produced a notebook and begins scribbling...

* * *

_Who votes who…_

_Absol Master: EncantadorTirano_

_EncantadorTirano: Absol Master_

_Ccw: Ccw_

_Arby: Zethos Orenia Gale_

_Azura: EncantadorTirano_

_Zethos Orenia Gale: Encantador Tirano._


	8. Day 5 or 6 does anyone care?

**Survivor: Chapter 7**

A/N: This is one sick challenge coming up! Wheeeeeeeee~. 30% chance of getting daily updates till Thursday if reviews come in. 25% if they don't. (Just kidding about the review part). And Randomness, I know my character cant own yours but your character pwns mine here, so no hard feelings, right?

The overall mood at Fiction Tribe seemed high. Noone seemed to give a rat's ass that Encantador was gone, in fact, when questioned later, one member would mention, with a puzzled look in his eyes, "Whos that?".

As usual, our brave cameraman has gone off to corner people and get from them how they felt about the council…

**[Absol Master[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Nope, I don't feel bad about it at all. If you ask me, he had it coming to him."_

**[Azura[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Poor, poor Kane." _He says this while playing KyraMS with his super modern laptop and his modem that is designed to look like a piece of shit but actually is state-of-the-art. He was currently heavily ks-ing a character named ZerPhoenix27 on his computer while he tried to kill Pianus and rebirth.

**[Ccw[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Who did I vote for?"_

After being told who he voted for, he went off to find a ally who would tell him whenever he did such things again.

**[Arbiter[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Whos this Encantador?"_

_

* * *

_

**At Tribal Council…**

"GODDAMMIT!" screamed Gonrod. "THAT'S THE 5TH **BEEP**ING TIME HE'S SUMMONED THAT THING ON ME! AND THE 243762537925TH TIME HE'S KSED MY PIANUS!"

On his state-of-the-art laptop that WASN'T designed to look like a piece of shit and performed like it actually looked was a character named ZerPhoenix27, getting his ass handled to him by a character named TheAzura.

"I'll get them all for this….just they wait…"

**Next morning…**

**Fan Tribe**

"DAMMIT RANDOMNESS, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THE FIRE GOING!" screamed Prz Nic. It turned out that Randomness had fallen asleep while playing KyraMS and getting the **BEEP** pwned out of him by a character named ZerPhoenix27, thus letting everyone wake up to a nice, frosty campsite.(Current temperature: 2 degrees Celsius.)

"I'm sorry! I was too caught up playing and I fell asleep because-"

"NO EXCUSES!"

On the other side of camp was Crappishh, wondering where her lion went off to…

**

* * *

At the tree…**

"Are you sure that's his weakness?" Encantador asked.

"Well, theres a 2.5% chance its not. But we'll have to wait for more people to join us before we can know for sure."

Just then, 2 extra lions and a balrog appeared at the base of the tree, and their minds turned to more important matters… like screaming…

**

* * *

At the beach…**

Gonrod is grinning, and humming happily to himself, as he imagines the reactions of both tribes when they see the new challenge he had planned. His mood, however, was a little dampened by the fact that the show was flying in the Survivor's family or friends. The mere thought of the sickeningly sweet reunions, was enough to make him wanna hurl. But hey, he was getting paid and he'd signed a contract, so there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it.

As Gonrod finished contemplating his evil thoughts, as if on cue, both tribes arrived at the beach. Putting on his _evil-host smile, _he turned his attention to the matters at hand.

"Alright folks, we have a surprise on hand for you today…"

His words are cut short by a long string of obscenities from Prz Nic. Azura and Randomness hold on to each other as they begin crying. Two very long and mangled Latin curses come from Chief and Arbiter, while DarnedNoob tries his hardest to prevent himself from breaking down, Ccw and Sobriquet faint, Absol and Crappishh conspire to get Gonrod killed. Gonrod clears his throat to get their attention, and when that doesn't work, he hurls his clipboard at DarnedNoob, knocking him out, while kicking his fallen form for good measure. This of course gets everyones attention.

"Right, as I was saying, the crew has decided to fly in one family member, or friend of each contestant. So...first is Crappishh's brother, Matt!

*Silence*

"Where the hell is he?"

Meanwhile, upon hearing her brother's name, Crappishh begun hyperventilating, and fainted.

Just then, a helicopter flies in. Its approach seemed wobbly… and it missed the landing point entirely, seemingly headed for the beach….

"SCATTER!" screamed about 5 different people at once, and everyone ran off in different directions, Chief grabbing the unconscious Crappishh and dragging her off (he doesn't want to lose his co author to a helicopter accident, does he?).

The helicopter lands, upon impact turning into fiery ball of metal, rotor blades, butane, and 2 Hellfire 'fire and forget' missiles explode, adding their explosive payload to the mix. From the ashes of the Super Stallion, walks out a lone figure… Crappishh's brother, Matt.

Gonrod, along with the rest, seemed shocked.

There follows 3 seconds of stunned silence.

**3 seconds later…**

Everyone lets loose with a unimanious "WHAT THE **BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP?!**"

Matt is instantly bombarded with a dozen different questions, and this barrage doesn't stop… until Gonrod throws his clipboard at Azura, knocking him out. This brings order, again. Taking the chance, Matt explains what happened, in a calm voice.

"You see, its very simple. Heres the short version, I just hijacked the copter, parachuted out before it crashed, and landed just outside thzone to make it look as if I came out from the blast itself. Oh, and theres 0 casualties, the rest were jettisoned. They SHOULD make it back.

**1 minute, 7 seconds earlier…**

A figure crashes down into the tree, startling Encantador and Kane, who were still screaming. The figure eyes the balrogs and lions down by the tree, and with practiced ease, draws a magnum, and shoots them dead.

Finally, Kane manages to ask, "W-who are you?"

The newcomer, which they can see is a girl, calmly replies, "I'm Yuki, the host's sis. The producers thought it'd be fun to bring me here, but then someone hijacked the helicopter, and I landed here."

"Okay….."

**

* * *

Back at the beach**

"Oh god, please don't tell me the producers brought HER here…" Gonrod mumbles.

Once Crappishh reawakens though, Gonrod instantly turns back to the crowd. The 10 survivors just stare at Matt, who stares back. Perhaps sensing that nothing interesting was going to happen soon, Gonrod consults his clipboard, then looks back up.

"Alright, to speed things along a bit let's just bring everyone out. I mean we still have the damn immunity challenge to do here."

Noone looks happy at that, with the exception of Matt, who squeals happily at the thought of his sister about to get tortured. Azura regains consciousness and follows along too.

Gonrod then explains the rules.

"So, not only will this be a immunity challenge, it is also a reward challenge." Gonrod then hits a button on his remote, and a table, loaded with 5 large Hawaiian pizzas, 2 large 1.5 bottles of coke, 2 large bottles of pepsi, a carton of fruit punch(with alchohol), and 5 large steaks.

You could cut the tension with a knife. The two tribes stared at each other with hate and malice. Gonrod was fairly certain at least one person would have to be cared back to the campsite on a stretcher. He grinned yet again, imagining all the pain and suffering that is way about to shortly occur…

"Right, and now for the challenge. If you would look down, please."

Both tribes look down, and there they see…

Several yards from the beach, lay a giant platform with two large poles. Each pole held one flag, white for Fan tribe and black for Fiction tribe. But it was what was between the platform and the beach that was worrying everyone. First there were 10 large blades, roughly 5 cm apart, swinging back and forth over a long plank, past the plank was six foot gap with some kind of harness system running above it, which when activated shot shurikens at the rope which the harness was attached to, past the gap was a platform with a incentive- reach there and activate the button to activate the autocannons pointed at the other tribe, and finally a long bridge of burning hot coals. To make everything fair, there was actually two sets of everything so the two tribes could transverse the course without being in each other's way.

The two tribes turned to one another, perhaps figuring this was the last time they would see each other still in one piece.

"Now, for the rules. The goal of this challenge is very simple, retrieve the flag from the center of the platform and bring them back to the two flag poles. One person must retrieve the flag bring it back. First you must dodge the blades, then use the harness to get across the gap, avoiding the shurikens, then run past the platform which MAY have a trap, activate the autocannons to blast at the other team if you wish to, and finally get across the coal bridge, which MAY have a trap. And by the way, don't fall in the water."

"Why?" asked Sobriquet, looking ready to throw up.

Gonrod then snapped his fingers, to reveal 30 cold sharks, 50 bone fish, 12 goby exploding houses shaped to detonate if they sensed people nearby, 100 gobies anyway swimming about, and a lot of squids, and 2 frickin pianuses.

"Normally, I'd leave you with the traps only, but thanks to SOMEONE named TheAzura on KyraMS, who ksed my pianus, I decided to add whatever he ksed me in! right, Azura?" said Gonrod.

Azura gulped.

"Wait, how do we know who gets to go in?" asked Matt.

"Oh, well originally it was planned that the family members would decide who would go, but seeing you're the only one here, you get to choose, while Fiction tribe chooses who they want to go themselves! Isn't that fun?"

Matt surprisingly chose Prz Nic to go, while on Fiction Tribe's side, Azura was voted to go. It helped that Absol managed to find a whip in the wreckage of the helicopter. Gonrod grabbed his chair and juice and waited for the fireworks…

Prz Nic began by using teleport to get past the rows of giant blades, but of course teleport didn't have such a long range. However, thanks to her LUK, she managed to teleport into the 5 cm gaps. One past, she continued on and began setting up the harness…

Gonrod scowled, he wasn't expecting teleport. Those engineers hadn't set up the skill lockdown dome yet on the island. He then pressed a button…

Meanwhile, Azura used power guard to endure the giant blades, but just then, a zakum arm rose out, and targeted both him and Nic with skill lock, and dispel. With no more guard, he managed to utter a single expletive before the blade crashed into him…

Which he endured, using the 4th job skill, stance. (Dispel was cast first before seal, meaning he had time to use stance.)

Prz Nic got into the harness, thus activating the ilbi throwing star that flew toward the rope, intending to cut it and send her plummeting down to the sharks. However, she drew a small bar magnet out, and tossed it forward. The ilbi star embedded itself in the magnet which plummeted down to the water.

Azura, thanks to stance, was not knocked off the plank and managed to jump ON the blades, and walk his way forward. He then set up the harness and set off. Once again, the next throwing star flew forward…

Prz Nic got onto the platform, and activated the floor guns, which shot down the throwing star flying toward Azura. This however, also shot Azura, as the guns tracked their target by heat sensors and motion sensors. Which was Prz Nic's intention.

Just then, 10 ton weights slammed down everywhere! They had entered the range of Pianus's attacks! Prz Nic ran forward, dodging the weights and jumping over the shockwaves. No such luck for Azura, he was forced to endure each wave. One lucky weight triggered the trapdoor on Nic's side, thus she avoided it with ease. On the other side, Azura walked into the trapdoor…and stopped his descent by stabbing his heaven's gate into the wall. It should be noted here that the audience is making several sound effects…

As Azura climbs out, he sees that Nic has got past the bridge already, and stepped on a coal that seemed… blue?

Instantly a horned tail's head rose out of the platform. God knows how the producers got one but if they did they did. It instantly cast seduce on Azura, forcing him to walk off the platform and into the water, where he gets mauled by the various creatures imported from the aquarium.

Prz nic grabs the flag… and triggers the second trap. Another trapdoor opens, and she falls also into the water. Here though, Gonrod has given her a chance, her Blue Marine staff was waiting for her, along with a all-cure potion. Ignoring the hungry cries of the gobies, or of the pianus as it prepared to fire its 'death ray', or Azura's cries of "I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!", she drunk the potion, and began teleporting, grabbing Azura, who had just screamed, "I'M STILL A VIRGIN!".

**LONG SILENCE**

Gonrod was still laughing evilly, as he had been throughout the whole challenge. Prz Nic looked like she'd tried to fight every single monster in the whole aqua dungeon by herself, while Azura looked like he'd stormed the beach at Normady, complete with bullet wounds. It should be noted that the monsters were bored, and had also attacked the other tribe members. The bullets had flown everywhere also… Thus now EVERYONE looked like they'd stormed the beach at Normady, with the Arbiter trying to get out of the water with 2 sharks attacked to him, the echos of various cries of 'I'm too young to die', and 'I don't want to die' continued to echo.

On the Fan Tribe's side, Crappishh was sporting a much shorter haircut, while Randomness was mubling something that sounded like "Oh the humanity… the humanity…", Sobriquet is actually handling things pretty well considering he has a giant Goby stuck to his back, Chief lay unconscious with several bite wounds and a massive mark on his chest, while DarnedNoob lay curled up in foetal position, sucking his thumb.

Fiction Tribe didn't fare much better, with Absol staring forlornly at her broken whip, Ccw crying and leaning on Zethos, while Zethos patted his back, sporting 2 black eyes. Arbiter was under siege by about 10 sharks but putting up a good fight, and Azura was already said. Gonrod sat there completely unscathed, and around him was the countless corpses of fishes.

"Well, looks like Fiction tribe will be joining me at council again. Fan tribe, you may take your pizzas, soda, Matt, and fish back to camp."

'_And I have got to do something about those in the tree.' He thought to himself, _as Crappishh was knocked unconscious for protesting too loudly.

**In the tree…**

Kane, Encantador, and Yuki were enjoying a quiet dinner, which consisted of coconuts, bananas  
and leaves, when suddenly the remaining sharks bounced out of the water like the one in Madagascar 2, and laid siege to the tree. Both Kane and Encantador screamed, while Yuki mowed them down with her .357 magnum. As the last one died, and the screaming stopped, a piece of paper flew out of the last sharks mouth. It read, '_Welcome to my island. From your brother'._

**On the beach**

Gonrod walked along the beach, wondering which unlucky bastard would be voted off. It was a beautiful thing, really, giving them the hope of money, and watching it get crushed by people they trusted. (of course he, being evil, exaggerated this abit.) Suddenly, a .357 Magnum shot impacted by his feet, with a piece of paper attached to it, saying, _'Got the message.'_

Gonrod grinned. And since Matt was on the island too with Fan tribething were about to get _**iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting.**_

_Next time on survivor…_

_Who gets booted off?_

_What happens to Fan tribe?_

_How will the siblings affect life in Survivor?_


	9. Tribal council 3

**Survivor chapter 8**

A/N: You know the drill. Read, review, tell me what was funny, what wasn't, etc. Remember, this is rated 'T' for a reason.

**Fiction Tribe**

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Azura and Arbiter had wandered off after eating their last captive lion that came from Fan tribe's camp's direction, and the rest… pretty much wondered off, and in one case, attempted suicide by trying to get himself eaten. Unfortunately no one told him that grasshoppers couldn't eat humans… until he stumbled on the island's resident balrog…

Meanwhile, Azura and Arbiter continued to plan… but in this case the definition of plan was… well, see for yourself!

"They're gonna vote me out, I know it!" squealed Azura in a very un-Azuraish voice. Maybe the stress had finally got to him. Or maybe its because of hat he endured in the last challenge. Oh well, we'll never know. In any case, he's officially he first casualty the island has claimed…

"Why?" asks the Arbiter.

"Because I caused them to lose the challenge! And I took so long that everyone got attacked by the fish… its all my fault…"

"Oh, in that case I'll vote for you then."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Y-you can't! We're allies! ALLIESSSSSSSSSSS!"

As the arbiter and Azura continue their heated debate, our brave and now slightly insane cameraman limps off elsewhere to find people to interview…

**[Absol Master[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Can you help me fix my whip? Pleeeease?"_

The cameraman falls for Absol's puppy-eyes look, and helps her repair the whip. In the meantime, lets take a look at how Fan tribe is faring.

**Fan Tribe**

"Where's my lion? Chief, have you seen my lion?" Crappishh asked.

"No, but there were some paw prints leading to Fiction Tribe's camp."

"Thanks!"

**[Zethos Orenia Gale[Fiction Tribe]]**

"_Well, I think Ccw's beginning to get abit useless… sorry Ccw my friend but you're just not doing your job here."_

The cameraman wanders off elsewhere… and in doing so stumbles across Ccw and a balrog in the bushes…

"OHMY_**BEEPING**_GOD I'M BLIND!" The cameraman screams.

Ccw and the rog glance at him, then resume whatever they were doing… fortunately the cameraman dropped his camera, believe me you don't want any details…

**In the Tree…**

"Is that Ccw with a rog?" inquires Kane.

"Yes…" replies Encantador.

"And are they doing what I think they're doing?"

"Yes…"

"Oh my god… that is so wrong…"

"Yeah, its so disgusting…"

"What is?" inquires Yuki.

"You sure you want to know? You seem… abit young." Asks Kane.

"Just tell me what it is before I shoot you." She growls.

"Okay…"

**Outskirts of Fiction Tribe camp**

Zethos and Absol are walking back to camp, chatting, after getting a drink from their water-hole.

"So how was dinner?" Zethos asks.

"Oh, excellent. That lion was tasty."

"Who're you gonna vote for?"

"I still don't know… what about you?"

"I don't know too. Alliance?"

"Sure."

Unknown to them, Ccw had overheard everything… and so did Crappishh, with a furious look in her eyes…

**Fan Tribe**

"So didja find her?" asked Chief.

"Yeah, she was hanging around the water-hole, spying. And it wasn't even OUR water-hole!" replied DarnedNoob.

"Wonder what shes up to…" Chief mused.

Before both could speculate further on what Crappishh was doing, Prz Nic ran up to them, panting and obviously in great excitement.

"Guys, you'll never guess what I saw!" she said.

"What, Crappishh spying?" Chief asked, somewhat dryly.

"No, Ccw was with a rog!" she replied.

"And so…?" The other 2 asked, in perfect synchronization.

"And they were doing…"

**Tribal Council**

Gonrod was NOT in a good mood. His dearest sister had already tried, not once, not twice, but thrice, at the whim of her tree mates, to

Shoot down the engineers of his crew.

Napalm the whole Island.

Shoot him.

Just then, Fiction tribe came in, lifting his moods somehow with their appearance. Absol and Zethos were unharmed, but Ccw was in a state of exhaustion, Arbiter was missing 2 front mandibles and his left arm, and behind him was the cameraman, carrying the plasmafied and liquefied remains of Azura. Judging from the other's reactions of shock, vomiting, and fainting spels, this was probably the first time the others had seen Azura also.

"Right well, not that I really care, but since listening to you guys, or more specifically, the sadistic natures of whatever has befallen you really brightens my mood, tell me what happened to Azura, Arbiter, and Ccw." Gonrod said. And anyway this would technically cover the part in his contract which stated that he had to ask the contestants how they were doing.

"Me and Azura had a little…misunderstanding." Said Arby.

"And I was playing Dance Dance Revolution with a balrog." Ccw explained.

Everyone's jaws dropped.

**In the tree**

"I still don't get whats so disturbing to you about dance dance revolution." Yuki asked.

"Well that's cause their technique was horrible." Kane said.

"Yeah, its no wonder after that round the balrog beat him up." Encantador said.

**Fan Tribe**

"So he was playing DDR?! With a _**BEEPING **_Balrog?" Chief asked, somewhat skeptically.

"Yep. See, heres the video…" said Prz Nic.

**Tribal Council Area**

The camera resumes just in time to see Azura walk up and cast his vote, saying, "Arbiter, for defiling my handsome and hot body, you must DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE…

This rant continued for another 5 minutes, with Azura seemingly unaware that everyone in the surrounding 1km could hear him…

**In the Tree**

"Seems like he's lost it." Kane said.

"Yeesh, I wouldn't want him in the tree." Yuki said.

**Tribal Council Area**

After 5 minutes of this endless rant, Gonrod kicked Azura in the head, ending his screams and then threw him back to his seat, where Arby wasted no time in kicking his unconscious form.

"I'll count the votes now, shall I?" Gonrod says.

_Azura…Azura…Arbiter…Ccw…Ccw…_

There was a gasp, as they all realized that Ccw and Azura were tied. But then, Gonrod pulled _yet_ another vote from the box…

_Absol Master… Azura… Zethos…Ccw…Ccw…Zethos._

Now everyone stares at each other, aware that they all voted twice, and someone voted thrice. Gonrod quickly recounts the votes, and says, "Third person voted out of Survivor, Ccw. Bring me your torch, please."

Ccw goes up, mumbling a string of very nasty words, fortunately our censor was quick to cancel them out. Gonrod grins as he douses Ccw's torch with the ladle, then flings him over into the tree.

"But Ccw didn't do anything to warrant him being thrown into the tree." Asked Absol, somewhat puzzled.

"New rule, its evil, that's what I do." Said Gonrod, somewhat matter-of-factly.

And the remainder of Fiction tribe runs out of council area faster than cockroaches in bright light in City Hall MRT station.

_There will be no votes sown this time, to keep suspense going._

_Next time on Survivor…_

_Yep, another Immunity challenge…_

_The siblings make their move…_

_Unexpected alliances form…_

_Romance blossoms…OR DOES IT?_


	10. FanFic Tribe

**Survivor chapter 9**

A/N: No revenge of any kind is taken here by me.

**Next day… on the beach**

Gonrod is on beach, looking particularly evil today. Why, you may ask, are we focusing on the host instead of the tribes? The answer is simple; we're trying to save money by employing less cameramen. And anyway, to answer the second question of why the host looks so evil today, its probably because this is the part in the show where we make getting that 1 million that much harder. Hence the reason why he's just broken into a fit of extremely evil laughter.

The remaining surviving tribe members of Fan tribe and Fiction tribe then wander onto the beach, looking brain dead , with the exception of Azura, who kept glancing back and forth nervously, Zethos, or more specifically, the melted lump that was Zethos. And Prz Nic and Crappishh, who looked immensely pleased with his condition. It would seem that they both finally got their revenge on the people from Fiction who ate their lion… unfortunately they seemed to have picked the wrong person to assault.

Gonrod looks them over once more, grinning at their state, and says, "Alright folks, we have a special surprise for you today…"

"Is it one where you don't hosts some evil and sadistic and possibly life-threatening immunity challenge and allow us to go back to camp?" asked DarnedNoob.

"Of course not!" Gonrod says, while trying to be chipper and failing miserably.

There was a universal groan, broken only by the sounds of rapid button mashing on a laptop by Crappishh.

"Now, if you would remove your jackets and give them to me." Stated Gonrod.

There was a pause, and 10 jackets flew over, 3 hitting the host in the head, which would not have done any harm what so ever, except for the fact that those jackets were packed with stones inside. In fact, it would be beneficial to the reader to know that every jacket thrown at our poor, evil, misunderstood host had a rock in it, and that every jacket hit him.

Meanwhile, as Gonrod tries to recover from this impromptu stoning, the survivors apparently found this very amusing, and were laughing their head off. In particular were the survivors in the tree, who were laughing the loudest. Gonrod, on the other hand, is not amused. Not only is his coat torn up from the barrage of rocks, but he had also just noticed his sister slipping off with Matt. Pissed off does not even begin to describe how he feels. However, the contract states that he cannot kill the contestants, so he'll just have to hope that the immunity challenge will do it for him.

"You people are going to regret you did that." He says, and the laughter quickly dies down, with the exception of that in the tree.

**Somewhere else in the forest…**

"So what is it that you called me out here for?"

"Well, an alliance. You see, its obvious that we both want to wreck havoc."

"True…"

"And cause any sort of pain."

"True…"

"So if we both cooperate, it would increase the damage we can do exponentially."

"True. So what's our first action?"

"Well, since they like playing Maple so much…"

Matt holds up a detonator.

"Lets destroy their laptops."

**Back at the beach…**

"Right. Now, if you would take your new jackets from the two pots, please." He continues.

The survivors look around in confusion. Where are the pots?

As if on cue, two small helpers ran out, placed the pots they were carrying on the floor, and ran off, bumping into Crappishh on the way. Good help really is hard to find, no?

"What the flying _**Beeping**_ hell are these?" Sobriquet asks, while holding up a jacket which on the back says "Gonrod for world dictator".

Meanwhile, as Crappishh and Azura put their jackets on, something slips out of the pocket and attaches itself to the laptops. Crappishh then continues her button mashing, unaware that smoke is beginning to curl out of the laptop.

"Its very simple, Sobriquet. There… hey do you smell something burning?" said Gonrod.

"Crappishh… I think you've overworked the laptop abit…" said Randomness, obviously concerned. It WAS her laptop after all.

"Just abit more… 99.97…99.98…99.99….YES! LEVEL 100!" cried Crappishh.

**Elsewhere…**

Matt pressed the detonator.

**At the beach…**

There was an almighty 'BOOM', and the laptop exploded in everyone's face. When the smoke cleared, there revealed Crappishh with a very charred hairstyle… and obviously not pleased with it.

**In the tree…**

"Mission success." Reported Yuki, back in the tree.

"Who're you talking to?" asked Kane.

**Back at the beach…**

"When I find the _**Beepingbeepbeepbeepetybeep **_who did this I'm going to kill them!" Raged Crappishh.

"Anyway, to continue my explanation…ah hell. Hang on…" muttered Gonrod. He then proceeded to throw a rock at Crappishh, knocking her unconscious.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes. To put it simply, there is no longer a Fan tribe or a Fiction tribe. You 10 are now part of the **FanFic** tribe." Explained Gonrod.

The 10 tribe members of the newly christened Fanfic tribe looked at each other slowly… If thjey were all in a single tribe… then immunity was thrown into a whole different meaning.

"Ah yes, and thats the fun part! From now on, only ONE of you can get immunity. Now, if you would follow me." Said Gonrod.

The remaining tribe members did as they were told, while Chief and Prz Nic dragged Crappishh's unconscious body along with them.

And then everyone turned to each other and looked, figuring this would be the last time they would see themselves in one piece.

They had stopped at a cage, and inside was one very pissed off and angry Bigfoot. God knows how they managed to get one for the challenge, but there it was.

"Right! The rules are simple, you go in and the last one surviving is the winner! If you get knocked unconsicious or killed, then you're out. And you cannot hit Bigfoot or it counts as a instant disqualification."

Gonrod then leads the members into the cage, and then slammed the door behind them. "In you go, have fun!" He then proceeded to scoot up the high chair in the middle of the cage for a better view point.

Bigfoot glanced over at the assembled survivors, before letting out a loud roar and proceeding to chase after Sobriquet. Sobriquet screamed and proceeded to run away, trampling down DarnedNoob and Absol Master in the process. Arbiter takes the opportunity to remove herself from the game by whipping out a plasma rifle and shooting several rounds at Bigfoot.

"OI that's not allowed, you're out!" screamed Gonrod from his perch.

"You said we're not allowed to hit him, nothing about shooting!" screamed Arbiter back at him, stamping her foot.

"No damage whatsoever you idiot!"

Arbiter muttered a few obscenities before dragging Absol and DarnedNoob out of the room. Sobriquet attempted to follow but ended up crashing into the Arbiter in a tangle of arms and legs(and mandibles).

"GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!" shouted Prz Nic. "Move!"

"AHHHH HELP WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" Screamed Sobriquet.

In the meantime, Bigfoot attempted to hit Crappishh in the head. Thinking quickly, she grabbed Zethos by the neck and used him to block the attack. There was a 'thud' and Zethos was knocked unconscious.

"Huh?" Asked Arbiter, somewhat puzzled by this display of treachery.

"Yeah, well shit happens." Said Gonrod. He then proceeded to point and laugh at the carnage below him.

Sobriquet and Nic had finally managed to untangle themselves, and Sobriquet immediately resumed his running and screaming like a fangirl on crack. This tactic was working pretty well, until he ran into the bars of the cage, knocking himself unconscious. Prz Nic tripped over his unconscious form, and her head hit the ground, bouncing like a beach ball, knocking her unconscious too.

Meanwhile, Chief and his co-author were in the middle of an argument about who should save who from Bigfoot, while said monster crept up on them. Thinking quickly, Crappishh cried, "Look! Its your dance partner!"

"Where?" cried Chief, before he was trampled by the oncoming Bigfoot, and Crappishh scrambled out of the way.

Bigfoot then made the biggest mistake he would make, he attempted to target Azura. With one punch, he sent the crusader flying into the cage wall, knocking him unconscious.

"YOU _BEEPING BEEPEDY BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP!" _NO ONE HITS AZURA LIKE THAT EXCEPT ME!" Screamed Randomness. She then produced a whip. "ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO KICK THE _BEEP_ OUT OF AZURA!"

"Holy hell?" cried Gonrod, craning his neck and leaning out of the chair for a better look. Unfortunately, he tumbled out of the chair and landed smack in the middle of the room, while Randomness began chasing the Bigfoot hussy around the cage. In a display of pure treacherous intellect, Bigfoot managed to dodge every blow by hiding behind Crappishh and Gonrod.

"Ow ow OW!" Gonrod cried, hopping around like his ass was on fire, while Randomness continued on her quest to beat the hell out of the Bigfoot tramp. Crappishh was getting her share of blows too, and accidently ran into Bigfoot, thus getting knocked out. She hit the floor with a nice, loud 'thump'. Randomness did not care about that, she just continued chasing Bigfoot around the cage, intent on beating the hell out of that Bigfoot tramp.

"COME BACK HERE YOU _**BEEPEDY BEEP BEEP BEEP!"**_

More blows fell on Gonrod, who was starting to get tired of being beaten up so much. However, some other people thought this was as funny as hell.

**In the tree**

"KICK HIS ASS RANDOMNESS!" screamed Kane

"Beat the _beepedy beep beep beep _out of that no good _beeeeeeep_!!!" screamed Yuki.

Encantador and Kane looked at each other, and began edging slowly away from her…

Finally, Bigfoot and Gonrod lay on the floor, cowering. Randomness was looking particularly proud of herself.

"Okay, you win, you win! Just go!" cried Gonrod.

A/N: No, this is not Randomness x Azura. Randomness just doesn't like threats to her character thatmuch… I think.


	11. Tribal Council 4

**Survivor Chapter 10**

A/N: Hi, I'm back! Was overseas for past 8 days, that's why there were no updates. And merry Christmas! (Double digit chapters, baby! And on a side note, my KyraMS char has got 3rbs. Yes Randomness, I will train you…. As soon as I get to bowmaster.)

After getting lost countless times, with 5 lost tempers, many injuries, and Azura being reduced into a pile of wet mush due to Randomness's whip, the tribe locates their new camp. Naturally, they are not pleased. Seeing that it's a new camp, they would have to build everything from scratch, fire, shelter, water hole. It didn't help either that the hyper people were now mixed with the emo authors, and the result of this was that Sobriquet was also reduced to a pile of wet mush, and then Randomness herself soon after, as this caused the tribe to lose manpower. The irony was, of course, that by beating up Randomness they lost one more tribe member who could have helped them do the work.(Don't worry, mush regenerates pretty fast)

Also, we have a new cameraman! Our last cameraman is currently at home resting in bed, dammit our insurance rates are gonna skyrocket. Anyway, the cameraman goes around interviewing several people, AKA to listen to them bitch, piss, and insult about this show.

**[Crappishh[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_This is so unfair. I mean, I finally manage to trick Chief and then I was about to get immunity, but no, Randomness HAS to go on a rampage and somehow I get knocked out… "_

**[Azura[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_Who replaced my bikini with a straw hat and a coat?"_

**In the Tree…**

"As today's prank, I have just successfully switched Sobriquet's and Azura's clothes!" Announced Yuki proudly.

"Wait, who're you talking to?" Asked Matt.

**FanFic Tribe Base Camp**

**[Sobriquet Nightmare[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_I have no __**beeping**__ clue where I am, or what the hell I'm supposed to be doing." Sobriquet looks rather angry and somehow very manly, even in the bikini…scary. "Also…WHY THE __**BEEP **__AM I WEARING A BIKINI! I'm a __**beeping**__ man!"_

Realising that if he continues to interview the tribe members, he might very well lose his sanity, or his life, or both, so the cameraman decides to return the camera to passive mode… Oh look, a fight's breaking out by the (half built) fire, lets take a closer look…

_Insert sound of camera zooming in… you know, the whiiir sound thingy?_

"_**Beep**_you! I'm doing my best here human!" shouts Arbiter.

"How dare you talk to me like that!" screams Prz Nic. "I'm Priest Nic!"

"Yeah? Well everyone knows that if it wasn't for your maker you would have been voted off long ago!" Replies the Arbiter.

"How dare you, you squid face! I've never been so insulted in my life before!"

"Wait, you're still young."

The insulting continues for a few moments before all semblance of communication goes to hell and a fist fight occurs… and I must comment that its pretty brutal too…

Elsewhere from this display, which everyone is ignoring, sits Sobriquet and Azura, building the shelter.

"So lets get this straight. Basically I'm one of the Singaporean Maple fanfiction writers, I'm a perfectionist, unsociable, judgmental, and I'm a fluff?" (For fluff references, refer to fainting spells, running like a fan girl on crack from bigfoot, etc.)

"That's about it." Says Azura, while tightening the last string. "Ah, shelter at last."

"Wait, what if I don't want to be a fluff?" asks Sobriquet.

Azura pauses for awhile, then slowly replies, "Well, I suppose you've got could start now seeing that you've lost your memories or something from that beating Randomness gave you…"

Sobriquet also pauses, then asks, "Azura, you look pretty strong, can you teach me how to not be a fluff? Besides, I need an alliance or I'm kinda screwed."

Azura considers the implications of this alliance, then agrees.

**Tribal Council Area**

Gonrod seems to be in a particularly fine mood this evening, despite having numerous bruises and rope burns from the stonings and whippings. Why, you may ask. The answer is simple, its Christmas! And in the spirit of Christmas, Gonrod has decided to give our contestants a nice surprise, AKA one more chance to cause them great emotional pain and suffering. Needless to say, given Gonrod's unnaturally treacherous personality, he's enjoying his job quite a lot at the moment.

Just then, the battered, bruised, and mentally or physically injured (and in some way, both) contestants come in, and at the sight of them Gonrod breaks out into another one of his little laughing sprees.

"That has got to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen." States Azura

"Tell me about it." Says DarnedNoob.

While Gonrod is wrapping up his laughter, he notices that Prz Nic and Arbiter look like they both got run over by Mac trucks. Arbiter has his last mandibles ripped off, and a staff sticking out halfway through his body. Prz Nic has a energy sword stuck through her body and numerous bruises, including one giant one on her lower jaw. Gonrod's evil smile brightens as he realizes the two must have gotten into a fight, apparently the new FanFic tribe is just not getting along.

"Alright, time to cast your votes. But before that I have to ask if Randomness would like to give up her immunity to someone else."

Randomness frowns deeply, then sneers at Gonrod and says, "No _**beep**_ing way."

"Okay… well then go vote!" says Gonrod, a little taken back by Randomness's attitude.

First up is Crappishh, who goes up to the box, writes out a name, and puts it into the box, saying, "I'm sorry Chief, but you're starting to outlive your usefulness. That, and Azura does look pretty cute. No hard feelings."(wow, Azura's getting a lot of girlfriends.)

Next is Sobriquet, who goes up, puts his vote in, and says, "Since I've lost my memories I really don't know who to vote for, but that priest girl there looks kinda scary and aggressive… sorry!" he then skips back to his seat and sits down.

He is then followed by Chief, who walks up, writes out a name, and puts it into the box, saying "I'm sorry Prz Nic, but without you around Crappishh will suffer."

Next is Zethos, who after voting, says, "NIC YOU'RE GOING INTO THE HELL THAT'S THE TREE FOR BEATING ME UP LAST CHALLENGE!"

Absol Master comes up, and says, "Thanks to Randomness, I had to do double the workload. So I'm voting for her."

Arbiter walks up, writes the same name twice, and says, "Prz Nic you broke my ribs… DIE BITCH DIE!"

Prz Nic comes up, writes the same name thrice, and says, "Arbiter, you messed up my hair….did you know how many hair coupons that took? DIE BASTARD DIE!"

DarnedNoob comes up, writes the same name twice, and says, "For trampling over me you must be voted out, Sobriquet."

Azura walks up, writes down a name once, and says, "For trampling over my friend Absol you must be voted out, Sobriquet."

At this point Gonrod looks seriously confused, he probably doesn't know what to make of this spectacle. Write that down folks, its probably the only time you're going to see him confused here…

Randomness walks up, votes, and says, "I didn't know who to vote for so I decided to embarrass the host."

Gonrod snaps out of his confusion and said to the tribe, "I'll read out the votes."

He rushes off to grab the voting pot, places it in front of the tribe to count the votes. "Alright, once the vote is read, the decision is final, and the one with the most votes, please bring me your torch." Gonrod reaches in to grab the first card, then looks back at the survivors and smiles sadistically. "There is one teeny tiny thing I forgot to mention. Whoever is voted off from this tribal council goes on…The Jury. In the end _they _will be the ones deciding who wins the million dollars."

After the usual vomiting, fainting, breaking down and insulting spells(though the last one isn't a spell), Gonrod continues.

"_Chief… Prz Nic… Prz Nic… that's 2 for Prz Nic… Randomness…Prz Nic… Prz Nic… Prz Nic…Arbiter…Sobriquet…Arbiter…Ah hell I knew you bastards would vote more than once. Sobriquet…Arbiter…Prz Nic…GONROD?!"_

Alright folks, I was wrong, you will be seeing Gonrod confused here again. Gonrod flips back through the cards, until he comes to the one that had his name on it. He then stares at it for several seconds trying to figure out just what the hell went wrong with such a simple plan. All the survivors had to do was vote some poor shmuck off the island, was that really so difficult? Meanwhile the tribe members have broke down into giggles. Even the folks in the tree seem amused…

**In the tree…**

"Can they really vote Gonrod off?" Asks Matt, a bit bewildered.

"Well, uh… did he even specify he couldn't be voted for…" replies Kane

"Uh, no?" Ccw looks as confused as Gonrod did right now. "I think everyone took it for granted that he couldn't be voted off…"

"I don't think you can vote the host off, but there again, the way this show goes…" says Encantador.

"You can't vote Gonrod off." Says Yuki, holding a large book.

"And how would you know?" asks Matt.

"Because it says here, in the Survivor handbook, that any member of the staff or the host cannot be voted off the island during the voting." She replies.

"But Gonrod works for fanfiction dot net." States Ccw.

"Guest Hosts are covered too." She sighs.

The morale of the tree drops several levels at this news…

**Tribal Council Area**

After getting over the shock that come ignorant, stupid, and potentially dead should he ever find out who he/she is person had voted for him, Gonrod did a little jiggly dance, scaring everyone present. Apparently he's gone over the edge too.

"Would the staff wielding priest come up to me… you're our next contestant on "Being thrown into a cage"!" Cries Gonrod.

Prz Nic walks over calmly, hands the torch over, and gets it doused. Gonrod it preparing to throw her into the cage that just appeared from the trapdoor behind him, when Nic suddenly grins evilly, and pulls out a bottle of Purple Hair dye.

"Stay away from me you arrogant sadistic bastard!!" She shakes the bottle up and points the nozzle toward him. "Lay one finger on me and I'll mess your hair up!!"

Now Gonrod did in fact seemed a bit worried about this threat. I mean he simply couldn't be properly evil without his trademark black hair, could he? On the other hand if he didn't toss her over, he wouldn't get paid. So Gonrod bravely advanced and grabbed Prz Nic.

Nic, true to her word, proceeded to squirt the entire bottle of dye into his hair before Gonrod managed to fling her over into the cage.

"It's permanent!! Takes months to get out!" Was her echoing scream as the cage was retracted into the depths of whatever pit it first came out from.

The rest of the tribe ran like hell, one member even jumping over the edge of the railing, afraid to stay in the same room as Gonrod, or be in a 1km radius for that matter, when he finds a mirror…

_Who votes for who:_

_Crappishh: Chief_

_Sobriquet: Prz Nic_

_Chief: Prz Nic_

_Arbiter: Prz Nic//Prz Nic_

_Prz Nic: Arbiter//Arbiter//Arbiter_

_Zethos: Prz Nic_

_Absol Master: Randomness_

_DarnedNoob: Sobriquet_

_Azura: Sobriquet_

_Randomness: Gonrod. FTW?!_

_Next time on Survivor…_

_Gonrod is really happy for a reason…_

_A diabolical challenge awaits…_

_More alliances form…somehow…_

**A/N: If I don't update tomorrow, assume Crappishh/ Prz Nic has killed me for this.**


	12. HonestNinja123

**Survivor: Chapter 11**

A/N: Its mah birthday! Woo! Thanks to Crappishh for giving me certain ideas for this chapter. And no hidden insults or anything are here in this chapter.

And so, our happy survivors return to camp, though they aren't as happy as we thought they'd be, considering that they just voted off the girl whose violent assaults could be described as deranged and psychopathic.

Anyway, our survivors are NOT happy as whoever they votes out goes on the jury, and this means that whatever scheming and plotting and backstabbing will have to be done in secret so that they can get that 1 million. Knowing this tribe, however, secrets can't be kept for more than 5 minutes…

Meanwhile, it would seem our cameraman has picked up on a interesting scene between Chief and Crappishh…

"What do you mean you voted for me? You're my co-author! You can't vote for me! We had a alliance!" Screamed Chief.

"Well you WOULD have pushed me into bigfoot as a diversion anyway. That and the fact that you're too easily distracted." Crappishh replies.

There is an audible 'clunk' of Chief's jaw hitting the ground, as Crappishh skips off to the fire. Incidentally she actually managed to keep her vote secret for a whole 20 minutes…

**Next Morning…**

FanFic tribe wakes up in a really flooded camp. Apparently a storm had moved over the island, and now it was raining. Heavily.

Crappishh and Azura run off to build a dam, while Randomness looks pissed at the sight of the 2 of them. Arbiter and Chief work on building a shelter over the fire to keep it from going out, while DarnedNoob runs off to salvage the clothes that were floating away.

"Wheres Zethos?" asked Absol.

"I think he went off to salvage the spears!" Arbiter replied.

"Help!! I'm sinking!" screamed Zethos, who got himself caught in some quicksand.

Working together, the tribe took another 10 minutes to pull him out.

"I hate this Island, I really do." Muttered Sobriquet, while wiping some sand off his pants, as the rain continues to fall, the wind roars, and lightning strikes across the sky.

**Meanwhile… In the tree…**

Our poor castaways are faring only slightly better. Encantador and Yuki and huddled under some palm leaves, while Kane and Ccw manage to build a shelter of twigs. Matt, prepared as always, has a umbrella.

"I hate this island." The castaways say in perfect union.

**On the beach…**

Gonrod finds himself in a exceptionally high and chipper mood. Why is that, you may ask. Even though the producers had neglected to give him any rain gear, something he was immensely pissed off about, even though his hair had changed color, he still was in a happy mood. Because it was his birthday! And as such, his gift to the survivors would be… yep, you've guessed it, a horrible, horrible immunity challenge and a reward challenge.

Just then, the bedraggled, waterlogged tribe comes up to the beach, and look confusedly at Gonrod, wondering why he's in such a high mood even though there was a certain… hair incident. It should he noted that Gonrod is also wearing a cap.

"Well folks, lovely weather we're having today. Hows it at your end?" asks Gonrod.

"Terrible. I think our camp is underwater." States Randomness.

"I think most of our clothes floated away." Says DarnedNoob.

"I got stuck in some sand." Zethos says, and breaks down crying, while Absol attempts to comfort him.

"The fire went out." Shrugs Chief. "Oh, and Sobriquet cried while watching some ants drown."

Sobriquet sniffs as he wipes his watery eyes.

**In the tree…**

"Can you see it?" asks Kane, excited about seeing Gonrod's new hairstyle.

"Nope, damn it, hes wearing a hat." Curses Matt, who has somehow managed to construct a pair of binoculars out of coconuts and bananas. Its amazing what you can do with coconuts.

"Oh, that must he bad then." Says Yuki. "Don't worry, I can take it out though."

Encantador hears the distinct '_snick-snick'_ of a gun cocking, and has a feeling that Gonrod's day is about to get worse…

**Back at the beach**

4 more seconds until Gonrod's day gets really bad…

_4…_

"Anyway folks, you guys are simply gonna love this!"

_3…_

The survivors glance at each other, perhaps thinking this is the last time they'll see each other in one piece.

_2…_

"Come on, don't you guys trust me?" Gonrod grins.

_1…_

Just as the whole tribe is about to shout out a unimanious 'NO', a loud gunshot echoes across the beach, sending Gonrod's cap flying…and revealing the hair below.

"ITS NOT FUNNY!" Gonrod screams, turning red, while the rest of the survivors spontaneously erupt into laughter, laughing so hard that some fall onto the ground.

It turns out that, even after hiring 4 of the best Hollywood hairstylists that money could buy, the hairstylists had been unable to change his hair back to its original color, and in fact had only managed to make things worse, by turning Gonrod's hair _pink._

"Oh you bastards will regret that when you see what's the challenge today." Gonrod growls. This instantly stops any laughter, except that coming from the tree.

"Now if you would follow me." The assembled survivors follow Gonrod over a slight rise, where they stop short.

"Yes, welcome to my own birthday challenges, AKA a piece of hell." Smirks Gornod.

"Wait, did you say challenges? As in, plural?" asks Crappishh.

"Yes, that's the immunity challenge and theres a reward challenge later." Gonrod says, while pointing down to the set up below them.

Ten feet of the beach was covered by a bed of hot coals. Near the water were several strings of razor wire. In the water itself the survivors could see sharks and salt water crocodiles swimming around. Beyond the ravaging beasts was a net and across the net, at least two miles off shore, was a man with sunglasses tied to a buoy screaming his head off, and a single Jet Raider water jet.

"I'm hoping one of you die." Smirks Gonrod. "The object of the challenge is simple. Transverse the coals, go through the razor wire, avoid the ravaging beasts, climb over the net, swim out to the captured man, rescue him, bring him back on the skidoo, carry him back through the razor wire, over the hot coals, and set him on this pedestal." Gonrod hooks a thumb over his shoulder to a large red and white pedestal behind him. "Only two rules. The man has to be carried from the water to the pedestal. He has to be breathing when you drop him on the pedestal. Any questions?"

"Just one." Says Randomness. "Which unfortunate innocent soul did you capture for this challenge?"

"HonestNinja123." Gonrod grins, again. "Ready, set, go!"

Gonrod walks over to his lawn chair, and sits down, sipping on a can of juice, again. Not for the first time, the survivors are debating just how much did they want that 1 million. Greed, and bills to pay, finally won over common sense, and they ran toward the challenge.

"HOT….HOT…HOT…HOT…"

DarnedNoob screeches as he makes his way across the coals. Crappishh, Randomness, Absol and Azura are running as fast as humanely possible over the coals, looks of pain etched upon their faces. Sobriquet is making almost matrix like leaps to get over the coals without actually toughing them. Arbiter is in an almost zen like state and is walking over the coals as if they were a bed of sand. Zethos has already reached the wires and is attempting to shove his broken, bleeding body through. Chief has learned a very valuable lesson about fire and alcohol based cologne… hes now hopping about on fire…

After Zethos, who is halfway through the wires, is Absol, who runs straight into the wires and screams bloody murder as her hair gets tangled up. Sobriquet and DarnedNoob are now trying to crawl through the wires without actually touching them… Randomness has grabbed Crappishh's body and has thrown her into the wires and is now climbing over her broken, bleeding and screaming body to get through. Chief bypasses the wires totally by leaping over them to get into the water to put himself out, while Arbiter seems to be upset about his face being tangled in the wires, and Azura has bypassed the wires totally by going around them…I'm not sure that's allowed…

Chief has reached the water, but is having issues of his own over with a large crocodile about eating him. Azura is trying to get past an rather large shark, while Crappishh manages to get on top of a shark and is trying to direct it toward the island with HonestNinja on it, Arbiter has knocked 3 sharks out and is swimming madly for the island, Zethos is having a nervous breakdown and the rest of the ravaging animals seem quite scared of him, DarnedNoob is attempting to swim around the whole area of sharks, Sobriquet seems to be having a rather vigorous fight with a crocodile and is gnawing on its tail, while Randomness has just kicked Absol into the crocodile and is swimming for the island. More screaming occurs…

Finally our survivors get over the net and the real fun begins…

"Back off you bitch!" Zethos screams while elbowing DarnedNoob. "I need that immunity!"

"Kiss…my…ass…you AAARGH!" replies DarnedNoob, getting kicked in the face.

"DIE YOU SADISTIC BIMBO!" Absol is attempting to strangle Randomness with her own whip.

"Hey, that's MY kill!" screams Crappishh, joining the fight between Absol and Randomness.

"WHOS THE TOUGH GUY NOW HUH? WHO IS?" Sobriquet has snapped and is now drowning Chief…whos making lots of gurgling sounds…

Arbiter has removed the kage staff stuck in his body, and is now beating up Azura with it. Abruptly, the staff breaks, and the sound of that snapping causes Crappishh to snap, too. I mean hey, she did pay a hell lot for that staff.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Gonrod grins as he watches the individual fights rage on…

"Back off you idiots!" screams Randomness, pushing Absol back into Sobriquet and Chief, who begin strangling Absol… but for different reasons…Crappishh has moved off to join the fight against Arbiter.

Randomness takes advantage of this diversion to grab HonestNinja, throw him onto the Water jet, and then jump upon it.

"Hold on Mr. shades!" Randomness shouts.

"My name is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" HonestNinja screams as Randomness guns the throttle, mowing down all the contestant. It only seems to lull the fighting for a few seconds, and then they're all back at it again, only with more vigor. Randomness gives the throttle more power, blasting through the horde of ravaging monsters, crashes through the wire, bounces past the coals, and stops the jet in front of Gonrod. Hey, nobody said she had to get off the jet.

"Damn girl… is he still alive?" Gonrod breathed out.

"I think so, but he seems to have turned into a turnip." Randomness replied, poking HonestNinja, who falls off the water jet, eyes wide open, curled up in the fetal position. Hey, he only said still breathing.

It took another 20 minutes for the remaining survivors to stop fighting and realize that the immunity challenge was over, and to then hobble back to shore, in various degrees of pain and abusement. They are also not happy, but hey, no one is ever happy on this island, apart from the host.

"Now, its time for the reward challenge. This is extremely simple." Gonrod points behind him, saying, "All you have to do is eat one of those these sand bunnies. The rules are simple, the bunny MUST be alive the whole time, and it must be eaten fully. Oh, and the reward is 6 vanilla ice cream cakes."

"Now basically every member seems torn between eating a cute bunny live and getting ice cream cake, or not eating the bunny but not getting the reward they were salivating over, or just taking the bunny back to camp to cook later.

In the end, Chief, Arbiter, DarnedNoob and Sobriquet took their bunnies back to camp, much to the disappointment of Gonrod. Crappishh, Absol and Randomness went one step further, taking the bunnies home as pets, cooing over them. Gonrod found this sight woefully unhealthy and quickly departed. Seeing that he was gone, Azura and Zethos split the 6 cakes among themselves, and began to eat them, when 9 giant tigers leapt out of the surrounding foliage.

"RUN AWAY…RUN AWAY…" screamed the two of them in unision.

A/N: And now, some stats. DISCLAIMER: This is not a COMPARISON OF WRITING SKILLS. All authors have roughly same INT.

Crappishh: lv 1 Maple Fanfic writer.

Str: 4

Dex: 4

Int: 32767

Luk: 50

Randomness From Boredom: lv 1 Maple Fanfic writer.

Str: 20

Dex: 100

Int: 32767

Luk: 0

Absol Master: lv 1 Maple Fanfic writer.

Str: 10

Dex: 20

Int: 32767

Luk: -5

Azura: lv 120 Paladin

Str: 600

Dex: 13

Int: 4

Luk: 4

Prz Nic: lv 102 Priest

Str: 300

Dex: 4

Int: 200

Luk: 14

Arbiter: lv 200 Elite warrior

Str: 250

Dex: 250

Int: 250

Luk: 250

DarnedNoob: lv 1 Maple Fanfic writer.

Str: 4

Dex: 50

Int: 32767

Luk: 10

Zethos Orenia Gale: lv 1 Maple Fanfic writer.

Str: 4

Dex: 4

Int: 32767

Luk: 100

Chief: Lv 1 Spartan-117

Str: 250

Dex: 2

Int: 1000

Luk: 4

Sobriquet Nightmare: Lv 1 Ex-Fluff

Str: 4+150

Dex: 4+10

Int: 32767-28000

Luk: 4-10000

Gonrod: Lv 200 Treachrous Bastard

Str: 32767+999

Dex: 32767+999

Int: 32767+999

Luk: 32767+999


	13. Tribal Council 5

**Survivor: Chapter 12**

A/N: Thanks to Sobriquet and Chief for telling me what they felt was wrong here. I really appreciate you guys being so tolerant about this, and understanding. Remember, if something is offensive, don't hesitate to tell me. Thank you.

Oh come on, don't tell me you guys are surprised. You should know whats happening now. Yep, another time where the survivors have to crush the dreams of one poor shmuck. Well, except Randomness, seeing that she can't be voted out. Now lets switch over to cameraman N. Which is kind of worrying, seeing that if you have a cameraman called N it makes you wonder what happened to cameramen A to M. Really, we do run through a lot of those.

**Elsewhere…. In the tree…**

"I hate this island." HonestNinja grumbled.

"You've been saying that for about 32767 times now. STOP IT!" screamed Ccw, whose reaction may be considered over reaction. This is nothing however, when compared to Yuki, who is being held back by Matt and Encantador, as she..well believe me, you don't want any details.

Just then, a loud peal of thunder breaks through the clearing, and in the unexpected noise, Matt and Encantador loosen their holds on Yuki, who proceeds to tackle HonestNinja, who somehow is rammed back into Kane, flying one whole circle around the tree, which causes Matt to drop his taser gun.

"MY GUN!" Matt screams, and then proceeds to beat up HonestNinja.

Cooperation and Teamwork is not in their vocabulary….

**Under the tree…**

Chief was taking a walk. Why, you might ask. The answer is simple, hes trying to find something to get Crappishh back as an ally. Who knows what secrets she might spill out…Chief suppressed a shudder at that thought.

"_I need something…anything to give her to get her back. Hell, I'd do anything. ANYTHING! Even giving her a weapon, like a taser gun or something."_

As if sent from the gods, a taser gun drops down and plops into the rising water level next to Chief.

After picking it up, Chief can only stare at it increduosly, before he starts to walk back to camp, muttering as he does so.

"Thank you god. Its about time I deserved a break."

**FanFic tribe camp**

Now, we return just in time to see that cameraman N has picked up something interesting. Lets take a closer look.

We see Arbiter roasting 2 sand bunnies. Wait, two? Where did he get the second one?

We also see Crappishh walking around in circles. Apparently shes lost her 'MiniKa'.

And we see Randomness doing the 'lucky dance', stolen from Bleach. Lets go and interview her, shall we?

**[Randomness From Boredom[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_Oh yeah, I can't be voted out! The million is mine!"_

After being informed by the cameraman that the immunity lasts for only one vote though, Randomness walks of somewhere else, whimpering. The cameraman, who's feeling pretty Gonrod-like due to him crushing Randomness's mood, decides to interview Chief next.

**[Master Chief[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_I have a plan, oh yes. A deeevious plan." He then proceeds to laugh in a very disturbing Gonrod-like way._

The cameraman then finds DarnedNoob next. He's currently drinking. Yes, drinking. Drinking what? A whole case of Mountain Dew he somehow managed to steak from Gonrod. What he DOESN'T know however, is that Matt had earlier switched the Mountain Dew with Tiger beer…

**[DarnedNoob[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_Well, Seeing that Sobriquet's lost his memories hes no longer a threat… however Azura could be a pain in the ass in the immunity Challenge department, so I'm voting for him."_

**[Azura[FanFic Tribe]]**

"_I'm all alone now… Arbiter has deserted me, and I'm sure they're planning to vote me off next…" Azura's eyes dart around nervously, from side to side. Suddenly he lunges forward and grabs the cameraman's shirt, shaking him violently. "They'll kill me!! They'll chop me up and eat me as cold spaghetti and ham! I LIKE FISH-"_

_We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please standby._

And now, Cameraman O is on the job! He resumes interviewing from where N left off. He first finds Crappishh, also drinking Mountain dew…someone call the cops, its alcohol inside that.

**[Crappishh[Fanfic Tribe]]**

_As much as I'd like to see Azura suffer, It just really isn't my style. Hugging sand bunnies extremely hard is more of my kind of thing." Clearly, she's drunk too._

The cameraman takes a few moments to attempt to(unsuccessfully) wipe images of Sand Bunnies popping under Crappishh's pressure. The poor man will be subjected to extreme vision for a month now. In the meantime, the camera has returned to passive mode… where it catches four people sitting around a fire. Absol, Sobriquet, Zethos, and DarnedNoob.

"We have got to get rid of Randomness. Shes a _**beeping**_ jinx!" Exclaimed DarnedNoob

"Um…you not winning is because she wins first…not because she jinxed you…" states Sobriquet.

"Shut up, fluff."

Sobriquet snaps. "I AM NOT A FLUFF!" he then proceeds to beat DarnedNoob up with lots of Gonrod like glee and laughter… meanwhile the conversation still continues.

"So we're down to 9 people, and 8 next council, therefore if we can get 4 votes it should be enough, as I have a hunch that someone's going to vote for himself." States Absol.

"So us 4 are already voting for Randomness, but we need more. I mean, hell, some people double vote." Replies Zethos.

"Oh I can find a way around that." Says Crappishh, who just joined them, apparently sober now.

"You sure?" asks Absol.

"Yep. We just need to get rid of that double voter…Arbiter."

**Elsewhere…along the beach…**

Chief is taking a stroll now, wondering how is he supposed to make it up with Crappishh. I mean, he couldn't just go up to her like that, could he?

"Hey!" shouts a voice.

So engrossed in his thought was Chief that he didn't hear his name called twice, until Crappishh finally gave up and threw a rock at Chief. That got his attention.

"What the _**beep?!"**_ he roared. Poor Chief.

"Sorry, I just thought that was the best way to get your attention!" said Crappishh, grinning happily. Apparently her body can transform booze into fuel to make her hyper…

"So anyway, canyouvotewithusforarbiterpleaseweneedthisvotereallywedo!" Crappishh babbled out.

"Whoa, slow down, say that again." Said Chief.

"Can you vote for Arbiter with us?" Asked Crappishh.

"Um…Okay…this means a alliance, right?"

"Right! But how will you prove you won't betray me?" Crappishh slyly asks.

Chief's response is to toss Crappishh a round, brown furry thingy.

"MiniKa!" squeals Crappishh happily.

"So…allies?" Asks Chief.

"Alright."

And the rain started up again, more heavily.

**Tribal Council Area…**

Gonrod, our evil yet incredibly handsome host, is still running on a high from the earlier immunity challenge. Apparently evilness is like crack for sadistic bastards, who knew? So he's smiling from ear to ear and actually humming a little tune to himself. This display does nothing to improve the moods of our poor outcasts in the tree, who are anxiously awaiting to see who is gonna be voted off next.

**In The Tree…**

"Oh man, this is bad." Yuki is in one of the upper branches, using Matt's homemade binoculars.

"What could be worse than being drenched like a drowned rat?" HonestNinja huddles a bit closer to Encantador. "I mean, we're stuck in a tree, it's raining, and the entire area is flooded. How could things possibly get worse?"

"Gonrod is smiling _and _humming."

A universal shudder runs through each of the castaways.

"Yea, things could get worse." HonestNinja then breaks down crying, much to everyone's dismay…

**Tribal Council Area…**

If its even possible, Gonrod's grin gets even wider when he sees the state that the survivors are in. All of then are soaked to the bone, except Zethos and Sobriquet, who are soaked to the bone with each others blood. Sobriquet now has several cracked ribs and multiple bruises along his lower body. However, he is faring much better that DarnedNoob, who is currently whimpering on the ground, while Sobriquet looks pretty smug. Perhaps he has finally found his manliness?

As for our favorite crazed paladin, Azura is currently giggling nervously, and has developed a twitch in his left eye. Just looking at him makes Gonrod's spirits go up, while the survivors, on the other hand, aren't 10 feet close to him.

As for our survivors, who apart from keeping their distance from Azura, they are now quaking in their shoes/footwear when they see that Gonrod is smiling _and _humming. In fact, 2 people have fainted and the rest have pissed in their pants, apart from Sobriquet. He HAS found his manliness after all.

As for Gonrod's hair, after the hairstylists had decided that removing the pink was nigh on impossible, they did the next best thing, they changed his hair color to red and gave him a new hairstyle, saying that his current look was too outdated. As such, his hair now looks like that Metro style from Maple. The approval ratings of this show have gone up by 30 already…it also helps that Sobriquet has now changed into a long white jacket and white pants. Much better.

"Well guys, its that time of the day again! So please, go vote, and lets see who gets sent into the cage with Prz Nic, and only Randomness cannot be voted for."

Everyone takes their seats, with the exception of Azura, who giggles nervously. "I like fish!"

All the others back away from him… Even Gonrod, who is actually starting to feel just abit sorry for him.

Sobriquet goes up first. He writes out the same name twice, drops them both in, and says, "DarnedNoob, for calling me a fluff when I am not, you must be voted out."

DarnedNoob goes up next, writing out the same name _four_ times on the same card, drops it in, and says, "Sobriquet, for damaging me twice already you must be voted out before you cause more damage to other people."

Absol goes up, writes out the same name 3 times in nice, cursive, artistic handwriting, dots the 'I', drops it in, and says, "Arbiter, your time here has ended."

Zethos goes up, writes a name out, and says, "I'm just following Absol, I'm sorry Arbiter."

Crappishh walks up, writes out a vote, plops it in, then says, "Bye bye Arbiter!"

Arbiter goes up, writes his vote out, and says, "Azura you need professional help or at least some very strong medication."

Randomness walks up, places her vote in, and says, "I'm voting for Absol, who tried to strangle me last challenge."

Azura walks up, writes out 2 votes, and says, "Like, bye bye Arbiter!" he then giggles nervously and his hands begin spasming. Poor guy…

Chief walks up, places his vote inside, and says,"I'm sorry Arbiter but Crappishh made me do it! You know I cant resist those puppy eyes…"(In actually fact it was chief who proposed the alliance)

Gonrod is still high, so he says, "I'll like, count the votes!" Unfortunately, he accidently spills the voting jar. One, in Spartan style writing, lands at the Arbiters feet. He is not pleased.

"Chief…how dare you!" Arby growls, unleashing his energy sword, while Azura finds a target for his frustration, unsheathing his Doombringer, while Chief turns all shades of white.

Before all of them can begin their destruction, Gonrod drop kicks Arby into the cage, slams the cage door, and with his other hand, bangs Azura against the cage to knock him out. Then, he hurls Azura off the railing down to camp, while the rest of the tribe run away faster than they would have if all the demons in hell were chasing them, and the sounds of Prz Nic mauling Arby, and of Arby's screaming, following them the whole way down…

A/N: This should have successfully eliminated the fluffing part people disagree with. As for the choice of clothing…lets just say Sobriquet found something better to wear.


	14. Ryden and Gonrod on crack

**Survivor: Chapter 13**

A/N: Finally, the long awaited Ryden on Crack Chapter!

It was raining even heavier, if that was possible, as FanFic tribe returned to their camp. Well, actually, in some parts swam. Of course, that meant that the island was getting flooded…in fact, the water level was now about knee high, thus the fire went out, making sure that Fanfic tribe was going to have a very cold, sleepless night with lots of bitching and moaning…

Elsewhere, MORE plotting commences… this time it's a secret meeting between Absol, Zethos, Chief and Crappishh.

"We cannot let Randomness win the next challenge. So I suggest we push her into whatever diabolical evils that's gonna come out next challenge." Said Chief.

"I agree!"

"Concur."

"Lets push that _**beepedy beep beep beep **_in!"

**Next Morning… by the beach…**

Gonrod is in a foul mood today. Perhaps its because his evil high is finally wearing off. Or perhaps its due to the excessive sword wounds the Arbiter managed to give him while randomly swinging his sword around. We'll never know.

Just then, Fanfic tribe come into sight, swimming/sloshing their way through the knee high water. Each are secretly hoping that the challenge will be called off due to the rising waters. Gonrod gathers his courage…and announces…

"The producers have announced something dreadful…" Gonrod sadly says.

"Pokemon is canceled?" Asks Chief.

"The world's stock of ice cream has melted?" Asks Crappishh, with a hand over her mouth.

"The Singapore white tigers were shot dead?" Yells Absol frantically.

"No! The producers have called me to tell that…" Gonrod sniffs, tears running down his face, "t-that due to the rising water, todays immunity challenge has been canceled!" Gonrod begins wailing and bawling like a 1 year old then.

The tribe's reaction? All the contestants looked at each other with smiles and they all erupt into a display of happiness that greatly resembles a drunken frat party! Absol, Zethos are dancing and jumping for joy! DarnedNoob and Zethos are splashing water at each other, Randomness is chasing Azura around with her whip, while Crappishh hugs MiniKa so hard that she (almost) pops, and Chief is belly dancing.

**A few minutes later…**

After a few minutes, though, the tribe ceases their partying and looks around in annoyance. Why is that? Because there's a very annoying sound coming from behind them!

Gonrod clutched his side and cried and wailed so loud that even the camera's lens cracked and several birds dropped down dead.

"Now I know whats more annoying that Gonrods evil laughter…his crying…" Crappishh grumbles.

"Can someone stop his crying? Its pissing me off!" Yells Sobriquet.

"Fine, I'll go." says Absol, groaning as she sloshes over to Gonrod. "Gonrod, please stop crying."

"Stop crying? How can I stop crying… WHEN THE IMMUNITY CHALENGE'S BEEN CANCELLED?" Gonrod cried somemore. "I EVEN BROUGHT IN A GUEST HOST FOR TODAY!"

And standing 5 feet behind him is a very, very pissed off Ryden.

"Here, have some water." Sobriquet offers.

"Thanks." Says Gonrod. After he drinks it, Ryden takes it next, and drinks also. Suddenly they both look around frantically, and then shake their heads. The water tastes funny…

"What did you do?" screams Randomness.

"I only gave Gonrod and Ryden some wate-Uh oh…" Sobriquet says.

"Uh oh what? Zethos asks.

"That water…contained steroids…" Sobriquet stammers out.

"WHAT?!" screamed the Tribe. Suddenly, Gonrod and Ryden both rise out of the water, grinning like psycho maniacs. Maniacs with VERY EVIL grins.

"THE PRODUCERS SAY THAT TODAY'S IMMUNITY CHALLENGE IS CANCELLED! BUT YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING, **THE SHOW MUST GO ON!" **Gonrod shouts. "SO FOR TODAYS IMMUNITY CHALLENGE, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT… RYDEN AND ME! LAST ONE STANDING GETS IMMUNITY!"

This long proclamation is met with blank stares… for 5 seconds. Then the whole tribe realizes that they will have to fight BOTH Gonrod and Ryden… on crack! AS such, they proceed to have a full scale freak out!

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" screamed Darnednoob, running around in circles… which is amazing considering how deep the water is.

Gonrod then jumps onto Azura, shouting "I AM KING!".

Gonrod then proceeds to pummel Azura to a pulp. This does not sit well with Randomness, who instantly unleashes her whip and begins chasing Gonrod around the whole field. However, her whipping spree is cut short by Ryden, who simply flash steps behind her and also pummels her into a pulp.

Behind them, Absol and Zethos share a laugh at Randomness's fate, that quickly turn into screams of horror when they found out that they just got Gonrod's attention.

Gonrod proceeds to grab both of them and slam them against each other, creating a sound that sounds oddly like 2 empty coconuts hitting each other. Both hit the floor, bounching like beach balls, while Gonrod proclaims, "CHEESE IS BAD!"

Meanwhile, Ryden is now using Force Edge to mutilate Randomness's body…judging by the volume of Randomness's screams, and the amount of Gonrod like glee and maniacal laughter, it must be pretty successful.

Meanwhile, Crappishh has picked up Randomness's whip and is currently beating up Gonrod with it…which doesn't have much effect on our pumped up host. Ryden, meanwhile has finally stopped mutiliating Randomness's body and is walking toward Zethos, laughing maniacally the whole time.

"Great fireball jutsu!" Ryden brings Ifrit up to his mouth, and blows out a really, really large fireball, turning Zethos into a little lump of ashes, and hitting Gonrod in the back…thankfully not hitting Crappishh. Must be her LUK.

Ryden gives out another maniacal laugh, and just as the fleeing Sobriquet comes in front of him, he roundhouse kicks Sobriquet hard enough until Sobriquet flies off, crashing into Gonrod in the process and slamming all 3 of them into the nearby tree. Now as you know, Crappishh was still on Gonrod's back, so unfortunately she was squashed too.

"LOOK AT ME! I'M JACKIE CHAN!" screamed the 2 of them, clashing into each other at the same time. And thus, as both were high on crack, they totally ignored the fact that Chief was the last survivor, and began fighting.

Ryden makes the first move, shooting 3 small fireballs out of his mouth, setting Gonrod on fire, which is instantly doused by the heavy, heavy rain.

Gonrod takes out a Purple dragon claw, but instead of shooting stars from them, he begins to pummel Ryden, shouting at the same time something about thongs and chimpanzees…this causes our cameraman to faint…

Ryden attempts to use "Phoenix Immortal Fire Jutsu",but, although Chief didn't quit using it, Ryden apparently did use alchohol based cologne…and set himself on fire…and he ignores this.

"RYDEN! STOP YOUR _**BEEP**_ING FIGHTING THIS INSTANT! I WON ALREADY!" screamed Chief. Unfortunately they didn't hear him. Currently Ryden was on fire, and getting dunked by Gonrod, who seems to have snapped. "WHOS THE TOUGH GUY NOW, HUH? WHO?"

As for Ryden, he's currently gurgling and flailing randomly under the water…well at least the fire's been put out.

"RYDEN, I'M GIVING YOU 3 SECONDS…"

_3…_

Ryden judo flips Gonrod over his head, to land in the waist high water.

_2…_

Ryden gets up, and unsheathes Alastor.

_1…_

Gonrod, still with the insane grin on his face, launches himself into the air, soaring at Ryden, while Ryden stand his ground, gripping his sword with both hands, and shouts, "_Ban-"_

"NO! NO SPOILERS!" screams Chief. This gives Ryden pause, perhaps hes thinking of the best way to dismember Chief. However, Gonrod flies into him, screaming, "CHEESE IS BAD!"

And then, a golden beam of energy shoots out from Ryden. Hes going super saiyan! But Chief couldn't afford Ryden giving out anymore spoilers, so he aimed his taser gun at Gonrod(of course he wouldn't taser his own character), and pulled the trigger.

The bolt missed, but is ultimately very effective. You see, boys and girls, water is a very powerful conductor of electricity. Thus, everyone in the water, (insane) combatants, survivors, and the unconscious all got 10,000,000 volts of electricity fed through their bodies.

When the smoke cleared, there was Gonrod, standing there charred, his hair now black again, with wisps of smoke curling off him. "Chief gets immunity… thanks to the pretty electric…" And he falls face down into the water.

A/N: Sorry for disappointing you Chief, but I'm not that good at fight scenes.


	15. Tribal Council 6

**Survivor: Chapter 14**

A/N: I'm so sorry for taking this long to update! (Competition, addiction to bleach, etc). Happy CNY!

Yes, its THAT time of the month again. Time for our tribe members to vote someone else out, again. (An interesting note is that now, only authors are left…)

So, as our electrocuted, drenched, burnt tribe members stagger back to camp, they now also find that there is a freak hurricane that they have to deal with…tents go flying, an oversized bra hits Absol and carries her off, screaming into the air, and one spear impales Randomness. Needless to say, the mood in the camp is not that good now…

**Meanwhile, in the tree…**

Our former contestants, guests, guest hosts, and siblings, are also NOT having an good time, thanks to the wind. Yuki at the moment is wedged in between Encantador and Kane, while Ccw is hanging on for dear life, next to Matt, who doesn't seem to feel inclined to help him out. HonestNinja is screaming like a fangirl on crack as shes been tied up to a tree branch, and Ryden…well, hes suffering from a severe hangover, but he doesn't even seem to notice there are 60 km/h winds rushing around him…

**FanFic tribe camp**

In the meantime, our crazy cameraman decides to interview several tribe members, again.

_**[Azura[FanFic Tribe]]**_

"_I have a plan, yes I do…." He then proceeds to cackle in a very high pitched way, in fact, it is so high pitched that the surrounding trees wilted, the gophers died, the cameraman's ears bled, and the glass lens of the camera shattered completely._

_Lets see how cameraman P is doing._

_**[Crappishh[FanFic Tribe]]**_

"_Like, bye-bye Randomness!" Apparantly Crappishh has found more tiger beer…we have got to impose an law against under age drinking._

_**[Master Chief[FanFic Tribe]]**_

"_Well, I'll have to help Crappishh then… for now…"_

**Tribal Council Area…**

Gonrod is not happy. Its not just the hangover, or the electrocution that's making him unhappy, no, it's the fact that due to his recent insane behavior, the doctors have had to put an V-chip on him. Now, basically, a V-chip is a chip that will electrocute him when he attempts something even minutely evil, which includes, but is not limited to, laughing maniacally, laughing in general, cursing, swearing, hitting people, throwing people, thinking evil thoughts, etc.

Gonrod does his best to control his insanity as the Fanfic members stride up the stairs, and into the voting area. The sight of an completely sober Gonrod, with a V-chip attached to the back of his neck, only makes them believe more in the old adage of "What goes around comes around". They pretty much figure that after all the evil insane things Gonrod has done, he deserves to have a V-chip attached to him.

Several of the tribe members have to control their laughter on seeing this sober Gonrod, which in turn, makes Gonrod want to kill them slowly, which, in turn, causes the chip to electrocutes him, which, in turn, makes him give out a very high pitched squeal, which, in turn, causes all the tribe members to laugh. (I seem to be using 'which, in turn,' a lot. Which in turn, which in turn, which in turn, which in turn. Heh.)

"Alright, go vote, you filthy-" Gonrod is cut off as the V-chip automatically electrocutes him, preventing him from swearing. "Yeah, just go vote." Crappishh somehow manages to stifle her laughter and walks up to the jar.

"Randomness, you are too good in immunity challenges to stay on this island. Sorry." And saying that, Crappishh drops 2 cards into the jar.

Randomness walks up, drops 2 cards into the jar, and says, "For laughing at me, you must be voted out, Absol and Zethos."

Azura walks up, scribbles on a card, drops it in, smiles brightly, and states that he is voting for himself. Perhaps, in a moment of clarity, he has managed to gain control of his insane self and 'go home'?

Yeah, right.

Absol walks up, writes 2 names on the same card, and drops it in, saying,"Randomness. Buh-bye!" Heh, she must be trying to save a tree of something.

**Meanwhile…in the tree…**

Yep, not much has changed. Encantador and Kane are still hanging on for dear life, with Yuki wedged in between them, while HonestNinja is still screaming… this is probably due to the fact that everytime the wind picks up, she swings around like a yoyo. Ccw has tied himself to the trunk of the tree so as not to get blown away(no sick meaning implied here) while Matt is playing 'Bleach, heat the soul 5' on his psp, and Ryden…is still sleeping.

**Back at Tribal Council…**

Chief has just finished voting, and obviously he voted(thrice) for Randomness. Next is Zethos, who writes out a name once, puts it in, and says, "Chief, your damn character incinerated me last chapter. So freaking get off this island already!"

Sobriquet is next, who writes out a name on 1 card, drops it in, saying, "I didn't know who to vote for, but seeing that everyone's voting for Randomness I will too!"

DarnedNoob follows up, and simply drops a card in, with one name, and says, "Same as you guys."

"I'll read the votes…" Gonrod groans. He limps over to the cage, and begins counting the votes…

**In the tree…**

Everyone is hanging on for dear life now, even Matt, as the sky turns black and the winds hit 70km/h... Matt, Ccw and Ryden have strapped themselves to the same branch(actually its one branch split into 3), helping each other, while Kane, Encantador, and Yuki are all clinging to the trunk of the tree, Yuki still in between them, and with a added bonus: HonestNinja, who has flown straight into them. The trio do not find this funny, even if Matt finds it funnier than Monty Python on crack…

**Back at Tribal Council…**

"_Randomness…That's 7 votes for Randomness… Absol and Zethos…Oh I knew you guys would vote more than once, do I have t read them out?"_

There is a resounding 'Yes' from the tribe members. Gonrod is really starting to hate this job now…

"_Randomness…Randomness…that's 9 for Randomness now…and the last card is…Azura. Hmmm."_ Gonrod tilts the card abit, and groans, before saying,"6th person voted out of Survivor, Azura."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Absol screams. "Randomness got 9 votes!"

"But Azura voted 10 times for himself…" Replies Chief, who could see, with his 1337 vision, the words 'Azura x10' written neatly on the card. Azura must have though nearly everyone would have voted for Randomness, and when you think about it, he cut it pretty close considering the fact that Chief voted thrice…

"Alright Azura, prepare to be tossed into the-" Gonrod is cut off as Azura takes a flying leap into the cage, where, amazingly, Prz Nic and Arby seems wary of attacking him, in fact, they are huddled at the furthest corner away from him in the cage. At least Azura saves Gonrod from being electrocuted by the V-chip.

Just then, though not without warning(as the storm had been raging for several hours), the hurricane finally came into view. Every single tribe member, Gonrod included hit the floor simultaneously, scrambling for a handhold, all screaming bloody murder and crying. And then…

With a loud, unexpected 'creeeak' sound, the tree, which the former contestants, guests, guest hosts, and Yuki had been exiled to, was wrenched clear off its roots and was hurled off by the raging winds, the inhabitants screams still being heard long after the tree had disappeared from sight…Damn, those in the tree have good lungs. Upon seeing this, the tribe members ran out faster than addicted chickens on crack…

_Who votes for who:_

_Crappishh: Randomness/Randomness_

_RFB: Absol/Zethos_

_Sobi nightmare: Randomness_

_MCA: Randomness/Randomness/Randomness_

_Darned Noob: Randomness_

_Zethos Orenia Gale: Master Chief_

_Absol Master: Randomness/Randomness_

_Azura: Azura x 10_


End file.
